fridays

I will be here..

2010-02-23T07:48:00.000-08:00

Been such a long time since i last blogged!
At the moment, i'm really missing Seoul, and more importantly, Mina dearest and her family who have been so incredibly generous and kind to me during my short stay in Seoul.

"Tomorrow morning if you wake up and the sun does not appear... I will be here.."

It's from Mina's friends who dedicated the song to the newly weds.

It's true isn't it, what we are all hoping for, looking for is something so simple, just for that special someone to be here for us. Often, all the rest doesn't really matter quite so much, we don't need him / her to be here all the time, only to be there for us when it really matters and we're just looking for a second opinion or really just a shoulder to lean on to ensure us things are going to be ok. Sometimes, despite the assurance we long to make, we can't guarantee anything but hey, it's about taking each step of the journey together no matter what. That's what matters. So i say it's lasting the distance, rather than guaranteeing all the sweetest moments or that everything will really be ok. Who knows?

I really like the idea of making a speech or dedicating a song at weddings. it's really sweet and it really is a great way to express how much a friend means to you. i went to the wedding .. some people wonder about that, going all the way from Sg to Korea? but you know what.. it was really worthwhile. i had a great time and i am really happy to see Mina happily married :) It's been 3 years since i last saw her and that's simply too long. NOw, i wonder when i'll see her again.
staying with her family, i can really begin to understand how parents must feel when they send a daughter off to be wed. It's a very warm happy feeling and yet, heart wrenching at the same time.
I'd really have done anything to understand her dad's speech... all in korean of course... at the wedding! For one who doesn't really speak much, it's so precious and meaningful just listening to him and holding on to his words of wisdom :)

I gotta feeling!

2009-11-08T01:45:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19rG2CHvCQY

My version:
I gotta feeling that i ain't gonna be happy if i choose to move.
So i'm gonna stay put till i can put reason to passion and
RATIONALISE the move.

i Gotta feeling that i'm gonna be happy in the new place,
however far it is.. however hard i've gotta work

I gotta feeling that i'll be learning from this place..
No matter that no one seems to get it, no matter that it all don't seem to make sense right now.

2009-11-08T01:34:00.000-08:00

i reckon i reach this stage a whole lot more frequently than most.
This... stage of not knowing, unfailingly questioning if i'm doing what i'm meant to be doing..
wondering.. feeling restless, listless.. wonder now.. is this a Piscean trait or am i just too given to being emotional?

it's frustrated many, including the ones closest to me and you know what? It frustrates me too.
this.. not. knowing.
if i'm headed in the right direction, if i'm doing the right thing..and i just want to be free.. free of all this having to be at one place at one time.

if you're not in it for the money, it's gotta be for the passion and if not even that... then where does that leave you?

to our Friendship!

2009-08-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

感觉上。。。今年似乎认识很多新朋友，经历不少新的事务。。。
从行业中。。。也学到不少东西。。。结交了一些好朋友。
我想，若不是进入这行，我也不会有机会认识这些朋友。。
他们。。有的很真诚，有的则很现实，整体来看。。。却个个都教了我要珍惜眼前人。。。
工作是为了养好这个家。照顾周围的人。
他们就属于说得出，做得到的人。
也因为这一点，我为他们感到自豪，佩服他们。
书虽读得少。。但工作上，他们很靠得住。
也想象得到他们会摇头说“混口饭吃罢了”就那么简单。

明天又要上班了。。。
奇怪的事。。。我不再像以往那么讨厌上班。。。步子拖着步伐。。。一步一步爬上楼梯。。带着压抑的心情上班。
感觉上反而还想找出更多方法帮他们建立一个更有效率，更加愉快，有干劲的工作环境。
哈。。。今年年底到底会是麽样的呢？我还拭目以待。

2009-08-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

突然间发现，我周围的朋友很。。。真诚。
二十五了。。。
说不上单纯，无知。反而觉得该是时候计划将来。。
哈哈今年遇见了好多新朋友。。。
好多是无意中结实的。
其实说起来也挺开心的。
用照片来说这些故事吧。。。。

my own little fairtale

2009-08-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

it's hard to stomach.
the people closest to you knowing you better than even you'd care to admit.
But they are ready to tell you and they still love you
and in fact, they love you despite it.
they want the best for you.

it hurts when people care.
it hurts to care.
but it teaches you.
it heals you, even the most hardened, worn of us care for someone.
and that's what makes us human

When you're faced with a tough decision.
It's the closest ones to us who can tell us we already know our decision
we're just too afraid to take it
Because that decision sometimes means leaving others behind
that decision sometimes is so emotionally demanding that it leaves us
someone incapable of rational choice
and yet, they know in our hearts, we've already made a choice.
and the right one at that.
Don't act on the fear.

2009-07-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

"you never know the biggest day of your life is going to be your biggest.
the days you think are gonna be the big ones,
they're never as big as you make them out to be in your head.
it's the regular days
the ones that start out normal
those are the days that end up being the biggest..."

The Valedictorian's speech, unfortunately at the hospital bed, they met with an accident and she was the only survivor. It was supposed to be their big day. Immense and yet only she survived.
Carev made her recite her speech since she'd prepared so hard for it and wasn't able to give it.
Idealistic, sure but it's allowing yourself to dream isn't it?

"Today's the day my life begins.
Today, I become a citizen of the world.
Today, I become a grown up
Today, I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents
Accountable for more than my grades
Today I become accountable to the world
to the future
to all the possibilities that life has to offer
Starting Today.

My job is to show up
Wide eyed and willing and ready..
For what?
I don't know
For anything
For everything.

To take on Life.
To take on Love
To take on the responsibility and possibility
Today my friends, our lives begin
And i for one, can't wait."

And again, at the wedding... as they collaborated to see Alex and Izzie through on their wedding day...

Carev's vows:
"Today's the day my life begins.
All my life i've been just me
Just a smart-mouthed kid
Today I become a man
Today I become a husband
Today i become accountable to someone other than myself
Today I become acountable to you
To our future
To all the possibilities our marriage has to offer
Together no matter what happens
I'll be ready
for anything for everytihng
To take on life, to take on love
To take on possibility and responsibility
Today, Izzie Stevens our life together begins
And I for one can't wait."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdavj6-0dtY

There will always be the girls who dramatise things.
Their emotional.
A heck of a lot to handle.
They cause trouble simply because they care too much and they don't know any better.
They don't know how not to care.
You'd say they lack focus but hey, at least they cared enough to ask how your day was going or you really feel they want to know how they can lend a hand to help.
That's Izzie.
She cares and she gives and that's the only way she knows how to help.
Just to be there when the attention seems to be on the rest.
When she sees herself as just one of the ones out of the action, helpless, well no.
Because in each group of us, Izzie Stevens exists and we just got to recognise it and show her we appreciate and love her for who she is.
She's not asking for much, just to live her dream and to make others happy.

We'll come just closer to the Gods our patients expect us to be.

2009-07-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

Question of expectations.
Watching Greys again.
Just has a way of worming into our conscience and making us question.
Question our lives, the way we lead it. The things we take for granted.
And it's always the simple things we overlook.
The people who accept us wholeheartedly
Just the way we are.

I'm grateful.
I really am.
For the great bunch of friends i have.

Maybe we all need to take stock from time to time
Be less mistrustful
Be that little bit more forgiving of those that just can't understand us
Our train of thought, the speed at which we speak, the life we want to lead.
Not everyone's gotta have the same goals but hey, if we happen to have met,
that speaks for something doesn't it?

Walking on Broken Glass.

2009-07-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

Ballet under the Stars was great~!
Thanks for a great night out Gerry.. nothing better than honest, simple, chill out time with an unexpected good friend. Just like Thana and I, think we've struck up quite an unlikely friendship and so they say friendships strike in the most unlikely quarters.

To me, Bz (A31) is to me how kel is .. like a good buddy, seldom talk but can just hang out together and be friends. Reliable.

I LOve dance.
I love movement expressing mystery, happiness.. or even outright passion, joy!
I'm thinking it's time mates for some dancing!

Great tennis session too! Somehow why did we not start earlier?
Just need to shed 5kg.. dance in Melb, make coffee... go to hk, bintan for annual holidays!

we're young, live it!

imperfect little me.

2009-06-22T06:03:00.001-07:00

I think this is the sweetest, most unpretentious love song.

To me, it speaks a truth so raw and so pure and simple.
You don't love him because of all the perfect things he's gonna say.
You love him because you accept him for all that he is, come what may.
You've got to accept him for his flaws, you're gonna like him just for his simplicity - the way he looks when he smiles, the way he tries in all his silly ways to make you laugh, you're gonna wanna be with him for the support, for the love and just the unique way only he can make you feel, make you smile when you're down.

"not anyone else, but you.."
-Mich

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
I want more fans, you want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You're always trying to keep it real
And I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Where i'd like to be.

2009-06-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

Trying to get some friends into the whole dancing act.
Have our own class.
Create that friendly vibe.
I finally get what Boss means.
Just go out and do it.
Don't question, don't talk too much, don't hesitate.
Just go by your gut, just do it.
Sometimes, surprisingly, you can get things done.
It is achievable.
Go against the grain.
Do it.

Superficial? Or just plain greedy?

2009-06-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game (seriously!)
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

We thrive on the challenge.
Increasingly so.
Some thrive on the thrill of the chase
Some don't want anything... more.
When will we be content?
When is money ever enough?
When can we just learn to be content.

Hey, does it ever make you wonder what's on my mind?

2009-05-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

I miss... him.
Don't know why and yet, i think i do know.
Just the feeling of being looked after somehow and yet listened to?
ha i even miss bickering what kinda nuts does that spell?
Really.

Have very pointed moments i miss sometimes.
Flashbacks?
SA basketball court. late at night feeling -safe and warm.

SA council room couch late. feeling cold.hitting the shower rooms icy cold water.

SA 2.4km run. side by side. till the end.

Bris. walking in the fast-reddening sky.

West End. happiness is me.

Home @ 42Durham. The OC on tv, couch. Food cooking.. winter, using the heater. miss that!

Another incident. Hail. exciting stuff! Scary. .. my fridge.. making strange noises.

The security buzzer.. letting ole bran in.
I'd just kill to invite a bunch of friends back to my old bris home and just chill our live there for a week or two! Man!...

And with that i now recall where i first heard and fell in love with this song. It was round about the time i'd just gone to Brissy at 19. New to the place, with Bran and Alan bringing me grocery shopping in that huge "Telstra" van of his! it's been six whole years!

there really isn't such a thing as "the better place to be"

2009-05-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

We've all heard the old adage "the grass is always greener on the other side.."
At times, this is really true. I don't necessarily respect those who hang on for dear life in their present work place but complain ceaselessly, not really taking the effort to improve their working lives. Rather, i respect those who take the leap and really pursue what they have set out to do, if they fail, hey, at least the tried.

Of course, this is notwithstanding the fact that most have commitments and are tied down as such to their work, pursuing the monetary returns instead of passion.

I've been missing Aust! I've been missing in particular just the vibe, the overall feel, whether it's the lazy brekkie at Roundabout Cafe or the wonderous buzz that Melbourne just evokes from the beautifully dressed up window displays and equally dressed up men and women who walk the streets each day, Australia has this really wonderful, genuinely relaxed feel that is quite simply evident from speaking to an individual on the street, walk into any chemist or Coles and pick up something, there's always a cheery "How're ya doing mate?" It's just a nice greeting that i miss.

Think it's always a matter of humour, how people connect. I loved the CRM course where we learnt about building a bond, person to person and it's so true. EVen the toughest of people have something in common with us. if only we can figure out what it is, hey, maybe we can relate in a certain way. Makes for a better life for both of us at work so why not?

It was pleasing to see how many Aussies i met had a huge book in hand, ever ready to just set themselves down with a cuppa and bury themselves in the book. I like that.
I like just grabbing a pink lady apple, sitting under the shade of a sprawling tree and just reading.. whiling the afternoon away.

Now that i'm back in the leafy "suburb" of Bukit Timah, well i can still do that but it' s just not quite the same. I'd be hard-pressed to find a spot where the irritating drone of morning/afternoon traffic will not break the seeming peaceful and tranquil surroundings. People are stressed here.Live with it.

Thing is, it is a give and take thing.
You've gotta learn to live with the good and the bad of whatever you've been given. Stress? Well, truth is, we wouldn't have much push or drive without this self-same stress. Challenges are the fun part. What makes the difference between a challenge and stress? Well, i think its just perspective.
Challenges are that which we'd readily take up. We view them as something we can overcome, stress is that emotional response that kicks in when we feel we're climbing some insurmountable hill. That's well, not necessarily a happy thing but it's necessary and ORGANISATION is key to achievng all the little tasks and not letting them pile to a hopeless, helpless heap.

Who says we can't have our fun despite the stress? We hang out, go catch a movie (sometimes the brainless sort is better!) Drinks => Missing the fantastic beer Pure Blond, ESB, Carlton Cold,ah... why can't i get that on the tap here?
Soccer => which i've learnt is incredibly good for de-stressing, not to mention team-building. You totally figure who are your team players.

I miss my course mates! Hope i'll see them at the Z4 launch tmr!

Nights.

You know you're working in the right place when...

2009-05-11T05:10:00.000-07:00

colleagues greet you with surprise and a slow but certain smile playing across their face as if to say "it's great to have you back, we were beginning to miss ya back there.." it's sweet, heartwarming and you know, really just makes me happy.
Simple as that.

To be truthful, i've missed them heaps too.
Would be so tough to even contemplate ever leaving this place.
It's been such a short while about 7-8 months? but i like them all for their simplicity, for the joys they take in the little things, for the silliest things they laugh at and even the crappiest jokes!

Just like how today my colleague walked in the office with me and someone commented "hey, don't usually see ya here! Just come in when Mich is here right?" haha! So cheeky but damn funny and there glancing up at their faces, it was just pure cheekiness and mirth written right over all their faces! You should have been there to see 'em.
Well, as one has rightly put, a little lass in a lion's den, what to do?
NOnetheless, really hope to help out those in distress, must say some do look quite stressed! I do think sometimes that i can help simply by elevating the mood and making these ppl see things more clearly, and in a more light-hearted manner. So ironic, coming from me, queen of perfectionism and control freak. Nonetheless, if it's a matter that i'm removed from and a mere observer, i sometimes surprise myself with how easily i can help solve a critical issue. REally think it boils down to removing the emotion, frustration and just getting right on task and figuring out how best to move on from there. We all need a little Big Picture thinking from time to time!

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone i've tried
and I don't know why..."

We've come full circle.

2009-04-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

A short 2-day training brings me back to where i started when i commenced this job.
Walking the same path to work, i can already feel what it was like just going to work each morning, Motivated, Inspired and just raring to go?

Walking past the old church, the all-too-familiar kindergarten, remember walking past the iconic brand symbol, it was Christmas, a cold wintry day with a beautiful cool breeze..it was beautiful.

Hungry, like they say, hungry for my first taste of success/achieving and really contributing to a new place. Building something out of nothing.

It's gratifying.

But you know what? It's really Making a Difference in the Lives of these people i come across that makes all the Difference.

Yes, from the cheekiest ones to the most shy, seemingly quiet. You've just got to have that special touch to put yourself in their shoes, to try to understand and to really get to know one. It really takes one to know another.
Next time you feel frustrated, feel like yanking your hair out because of something or someone, this is what you do.
Take a deep breath, breathe in now Come on!
Ask yourself:
"Is there a reason behind his/her actions? Think, carefully, why did he/she do that? What is their motivation?" Does he/she even realise the consequence of their actions? Or is it unknowing/ He didn't mean any harm, just wanted to achieve the best result.. well then is it really his fault for trying?

如果出发点是好的。。。你有真么能怪她呢？

In life as in all things, it's a delicate matter and one of great influence when you learn to Let Go of certain things, put away the burden of it.
Put aside the emotion, go with the thinking.
Fight against all the negative emotions that are welling inside. Force yourself to
CALM DOWN, be rational, think logical.
Be a man.
And the natural solution will come to you.
You have to be cool and collected to work well in most situations.
Sometimes, it is difficult, do not be rash.
Deal with things with grace, skillfully and people will know how dedicated you are as long as you bother to give them due respect, speak clearly and really, just let them understand your perspective.

Impressions are built with time.
Trust is built with time.
And once you've got that trust, you hold on to it.

Bruce Springsteen "Devils and Dust" an inspiration.

Kungfu kick butt!

2009-04-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

It was like a sharp thwack that sent me cringing and reeling in pain. More specifically, the sharp pain i felt and the dull thwack of the tennis ball brushing past my racquet and my eye.

It hurt.
Sensation was a burn to the eye ball (later to discover an abrasion on my cornea). I cried out in pain. And was this close to swearing but thought, what's the point? it was no one's fault. self-inflicted, an accident.

I don't think my doc knew what to respond to Mum's incessant questions... "is it serious?" he doesn't know.. just need to do rest more, use the eye drops and observe. An injury to the eye can be pretty serious, that's what i know.

The incredible things we do to ourselves sometimes...
It still hurt.
While my dear tennis coach went on coaching my dear friend Shaun, reassuring me it's nothing just a superficial thing.. well i could have just left but didn't.
In fact, i stood up later and attempted to hit the strokes that coach was teaching and i could!

Sleeping, and more sleeping.
i slept like a baby these 2 days until i really needed to get out and go for Boat Asia!
Which i did! Thank God for my lovely parents who care. i know it was hard on Mum to walk around but hey, an eye-opener for sure. THink the organisers got it running well! And it was relaxing (apart from my poor eye which was fast turning bright red and teary) the air-conditioned tent could not have been colder (so i fled quickly) there were quite a few more exhibitors then i'd expected. Quite a few people mingling with exhibitors, actually talking about transactions and purchase of boats... expats living at the Caribbean or at Sentosa Cove? Perhaps...but a nonetheless interesting prospect to consider, living by the water. Wow!
I'd love that, or even the prospect of having a nice home just built by the water here or in Queensland? :p

i'd love to wake up each morning to the cheering warmth of the sun, gaze across the horizon and make a steaming hot mug of aromatic coffee and a simple slice of thick toast with jam - Mmmm heavenly.

i crave the simple life.

Much later at Toast Box
Overheard these 2 fellas speaking in unmistakably crisp, fluent Cantonese. Only caught snippets of the conversation but one was either working/ studying a Business Course here in Sg. Just from overhearing snippets of the conversation, i gathered they were 1) incredibly shrewd, 2) just hungry for success, some money and headed elsewhere to achieve a name for themselves / become great success stories in the papers one day.

Made me feel that hey, i've really got to step up too to compete against these guys, i may have some book smarts but when it comes to street smarts, i'm nowhere near these guys! Which makes me 1) hunger for independence and just Making it out there in this huge world. 2) i've gotta find a way to expose myself to more aspects of the business and learn as quickly as i possibly can cos life is short and there's lots to achieve and learn while we're at it in our prime!

I say life's short, we gotta really treasure who we have and those special friendships and kinship that means the world to us.
We gotta really reach out there and try to achieve what we set our minds to, given our aptitude and talents and change our attitudes if we need to , more discipline, more hard work and more focus.

I like this poem my friend wrote to me when i was sixteen.
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centred
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives
Do Good anyway.
If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies
Succeed anyway.
Honesty and Transparency might make you vulnerable
Be honest and transparent anyway
What you spend years building might be destroyed overnight
Build anyway.
People who really want help may attack you if you help them
Help them anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt
Give the world the best anyway.

A life half-lived is not a life lived at all.

Simple days.

2009-04-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

we were just sitting there, sipping our soy bean drinks, musing about this transient phase some place in between being forced to accept realities and coming to terms with... things.

we grow, we learn to accept, we adapt, we change to suit our surroundings.
we learn.

with talks about mortality, our acceptably and decidedly morbid selves, our once-innocence. Our determination to achieve what we set out to. Our independence we fight for, despite the odds, we have, in a real sense chosen to
Fight the Fight rather than
Take Flight.

We will stay and fight, no matter what the odds, we will adapt.
We will get better, grow stronger, learn, thrive.
it can only get better than this.

1. SA LT4. Semi-circle configuration, gathered round the piano. Singing. '01.
2. SA Hall. Stepping Down. photos
3. BC stepping down. Photos. that darn board, signing of names on the board, saying good bye. Desmond on the clarinet.
4. Soccer matches
5. Basketball matches.
6. Banner painting, it's late, water bombs.. rushing to meetings, last min meetings, gathering, meeting Mols for the first time, introductions, who are these strange ppl am i supposed to call them my buddies?
7. counter duty. spelling upside down, scrabble, senseless carrom, a finger-flick ah! it's in! lucky one, that! lockers, mine, his.
8. Raining, Pink TYS.
9. Lock Road
10. gathering, reflections, TRUST, running, SA Cathedral, tunnel.

cheers to our collective memories.

Some things are beyond words

2009-04-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

I'm quoting that from an article in the papers today by Janadas Devan.
I couldn't help but be reminded about another article written about this persons' wife while i was reading it.. about how being with his wife, taught him to appreciate or see things differently and appreciate how each individual is blessed in his/her own way and we thus see the world differently because of it.

We are indeed all talented but in vastly different ways. It can create conflict because we just cannot see eye to eye or it can create dispute as a result of not being able to relate to the other individual's issues or problems but honestly, i thrill in the fact that despite everyone being quite so different, we all have a common point in some way or another. That's how i see it.

I think that no matter who it is, as long as we can see the humour in a situation and rise above sometimes, we can learn from it. I think that if we can relate to something someone says, that's when the magic happens and sometimes, just sometimes, you share a moment. It really could be the first sparks of a friendship, you never know :) As i've learn this year and many times in the past, friendships strike in the strangest of places under the most unexpected circumstances.
Sometimes, you chat with someone you're totally not close to but he or she can totally relate to what you are going through and suddenly, regardless of age, gender, race or background, you realise that he/she is going through the exact same issues or problems and really, you just want to be there for that person and be the stronger one to support him or her because she just needs a helping hand. We do not all have to sink alone.

i'm a firm believer in helping your fellow man.
Why some people think i need to be protected is because of this self-same kindness. But i'll still do it, i just can't help but be nice sometimes because i do want to help,not to make a difference but really i just can't stand seeing someone flailing there in need of help.
i can't stand people who don't recognise the need for help and start shouting for help when they obviously are sinking without it. it's pride and it's standing in the way of getting things done. Men suffer from this strange complex, trust me.

Back to the article..
"Once upon a time, I believed that people who couldn't express themselves clearly and logically - either in speech or in writing, but mostly the latter were dumb. It was not till I met the woman who later became my wife that I realised that it was I who was dumb.

It was not that my wife was inarticulate. If anything, she is more articulate than I am. She can speak faster - and make fewer grammatical mistakes, while speaking with machine-gun rapidity -than I can; and she almost invariably beats me in Scrabble.

No, the realisation that the mental faculties I had assume were valuable were not the only valuable ones derived from the realisation that my wife possessed faculties that I had not even suspected existed.

The trigger for that realisation was hearing her describe her dreams.

They were, to me, astoundingly elaborate affairs. The landscapes in her dreams were richly detailed, the figures sharply vivid, the narratives complex. Most remarkable, to me, was the fact that she dreamt in colour....."

I think it's incredible.
This admittance that you're not as good as you think you are. This realisation that your other half is really just as equipped, if not more, at expressing themselves and in fact, is seeing things in a whole other dimension that you just failed to see.

I love talking to people who are older than me, more experienced than me because you'll discover just how willing they are to share their life experiences, what they have learnt and just how nice people can be sometimes. Don't be cynical, be positive, let them surprise you.

Seriously?

2009-04-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

Discovered new things about guys...

Ladies, they don't mean to lead you on, they really don't. It's just that they were having a good time, so were you, you both seemed to get along just fine, things were cruising. You were happy to have someone to talk to, so was he.
It was a matter of let's call it, "seeming compatability" and then... he discoveres something about you that doesn't quite sit well with him or what he wants in a girlfriend/partner for life. it could be your incessant complaining, your pointing out exactly what he isn't good at, or the fact you don't make him feel as good as he'd like to feel or he'd like to think about himself and then, he pulls back. It might be so subtle you don't even realise it but believe and trust in your senses. it usually is accurate.

Men see the world in Black and White. It's action oriented, it's either gonna be that you get attached or not, no two ways about it. Either that or worst still, you're both just hanging at that awkward stage of closeness but not together, i say, buffer yourself against that happening. It might happen and if either of you is not happy with it, then that's not fine. If you're both happy, that's cool. There are rules to the game, men sometimes just want to feel good, and just can't admit it. It's no one's fault really, just play it cool and that's that but make sure you temper / measure it with your own low expectations, or you'll be the one who gets played out.

All we need is to be free.

2009-04-11T00:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all we need is that Seth to be with us, by our side each step of the way.
We've all got a friend like that, that someone we seek out.
Our buddy.
He will be there for you,through all your boy problems, your work issues, he'll be there to comfort you when you're down and yes, he'll even be there when he doesn't even realise he's being there for you.

Sweet, simple and undeniable.

Sometimes, it's tough for a tough cookie to admit that that's just what she needs.
I've always seen myself in Mischa, in Meredith (GA) but you know what, i think i'm really much more of a Summer, in search of my Seth. :p

-Simplicity is best.

2009-04-07T06:50:00.000-07:00

i do believe i've never felt so upset in a working context prior to today.
It's been a very challenging day.
After all the discussions, i'm happy because things are ironed out.
I've really strived to rise above and just be professional but seriously,
all of this has just made me feel like i've been working hard for nothing.

Suppose that's work and that's life.
Time for new perspectives, new take on things.
Not time to get creative, be understanding but be in a way, uncharacteristically detached, impersonal and just 'get things going'.
it's the name of the game and honestly, i know it's all going to be one hellavu mistake.

爱一个人。。。好难

2009-03-26T19:53:00.001-07:00

2009-03-25T00:19:00.000-07:00

remember back when we were all young, naive, simple?
our world view was so small.
we didn't really have that much to wonder about
just simplicity.

and then we started to grow up.
things started to get complicated
we worry over the most senseless things
we worry about whether or not that boy likes us, whether we really like him
we doubt ourselves, our capabilities.
we are essentially being put to the test.
we are treated like dirt
we get stronger because of it
or wallow in our own miserable existence.
miserable.

i think sometimes we come across those who are actually adding more to our lives than they themselves will come to realise
we become grateful.
we open up
we accept
we trust
but can we really hold on to this trust?
what about those we think we can trust but really can't?
i used to think i really can't play the political game..
now i'm not so sure
just have an overview
do your own work
and be happy.

Pretty darn interesting if you ask me

2009-03-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

What is Attachment?
Attachment is a special emotional relationship that involves an exchange of comfort, care, and pleasure. The roots of research on attachment began with Freud's theories about love, but another researcher is usually credited as the father of attachment theory.

John Bowlby devoted extensive research to the concept of attachment, describing it as a "lasting psychological connectedness between human beings" (Bowlby, 1969, p. 194). Bowlby shared the psychoanalytic view that early experiences in childhood have an important influence on development and behavior later in life. Our early attachment styles are established in childhood through the infant/caregiver relationship.

In addition to this, Bowlby believed that attachment had an evolutionary component; it aids in survival. "The propensity to make strong emotional bonds to particular individuals [is] a basic component of human nature" (Bowlby, 1988, 3).
Characteristics of Attachment
Bowlby believed that there are four distinguishing characteristics of attachment:

1. Proximity Maintenance - The desire to be near the people we are attached to.
2. Safe Haven - Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.
3. Secure Base - The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.
4. Separation Distress - Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.

Your Attachment Style: Secure
Based upon your quiz answers, you appear to have a secure attachment style. People with secure attachments tend to feel comfortable with themselves and their relationships. Securely attached individuals tend to have happier, long-lasting relationships. You feel comfotable sharing your feelings with your partner and are able to turn to your partner for support.

While this quiz cannot fully describe every aspect of your attachment style, it can provide a basis for understanding more about your romantic attachment style.

why do close ones have to leave us?

2009-03-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

Reading the “Special Remembrance” from Law Gazette, I just couldn’t help tearing..

Excerpts from the article below show the pure and unadulterated joy that she brought to her close friends and it just breaks my heart to think that someone so wonderful left us all poorer because she is no longer around to touch another life, bring a smile to another just like she would if she only could.

Michael Puhaindran.
“Nothing I can say in this short note would properly capture the wonderful life-giving force of nature that was my wife…Yen could be strong-willed and stubborn and yet she possessed the softest of hearts and the gentlest of souls.”

“I think it was the Monday before she left: She was tired after work while I had been bumming around since I was between jobs. In the lift on the way to our unit, despite her tiredness, she suddenly turned to me and gave me the most heartwarming and dazzling smile. I remember that moment to this day. At that point, I truly thought my life was complete.”

– I think this is a heart-breaking snapshot of a memory from her husband, Michael and it just strikes me how precious each and every moment is we have in our lives. Just think, it was in that special moment you shared with this person that you had that connection, shared a moment that both of you were touched by. It’s sweet and it just aches to know that he won’t have her by his side any longer..

“Yen had a list for everything! One particularly hard moment for me was finding the shopping list that she had given me the night before she left. All the items were written out….It was Yen being her cheeky self. Needless to say it really broke me when I came across that list which I had left in the centre compartment of my car.”

“The world is a poorer place without Yen. I’m not saying this just because I’m her husband and I miss her so, so much. NO, the world needs more people like her. A truly gentle, innocent and delightful soul.”

“Finally, though I reside now in so much darkness, Yen would not forgive me if I ended on such a note. …”

Written by Bryan Tan…
“There is a world beyond words. Words, those tools of trade that we lawyers use daily. But are we truly able to distil to language the depths of love? Who has the vocabulary to map all the contours of grief?...
I didn’t have to put in words my vision; she saw it on her own. To lose her is to lose a part of my soul. Apart from telling you that, I can find no other terms with which to express myself.

Somewhere beyond the reach of language, beyond the borders of meaning, beyond the geography of life: that’s where she is now.”

Written by Richard Lam…
“Once in a lifetime, you will meet that special someone whom you know will always remain steadfast aand true, someone who will be there in your darkest moments, the wind beneath your wings. I sincerely hope that you have met your special someone of have been blessed with the honour to love someone, because everybody deserves to experience this once in every lifetime”

“I guess I have always lived vicariously off Yen’s passion for life, her courage to let go of sensibility and go where her heart leads her. Yen taught me that life is not just about weighing the pros and cons of every decision. She said, “Listen to your heart”. Yen loves and loves, she loves so much that she infects and inspires those touched by her to strive to be better persons. She was the daughter my mum (of every mum) never had.

I have learnt to be more patient but I don’t think I could ever share her uncanny empathy and capacity to share, understand and always be there for others. I have learnt to be more considerate but I miss how Yen completes my sentences. I wished it did not cost me so much to realize this, but I have also learnt to forgive and forget because life is just too short to bear grudges.

- We have to cherish who matters to us. We have to let them know just how much they mean to us. Us Chinese families are often too afraid to express love, affection, translating our concern instead into nagging as a form of showing our care and love. I urge you to express your care in simple, clear ways that one would understand and be able to easily appreciate. We have to slightly alter our ways of communicating to our loved ones sometimes in order for them to truly understand but trust me, as long as you really care, it can be felt.

“Yen was ambitious, smarter than she realized and a better lawyer than she gave herself credit for. She resented how I refused to engage in arguments with her, that I appeared nonchalant and oblivious to her tantrums, even that I seemed not to care. In fact, I just could not bear to raise my voice or temper at her.”

- Guys, I urge you to share your feelings with your girlfriends/wives. They want to know not just because they care but they truly want to understand and be of some help. If nothing at all, at least they can be a listening ear. Let her be there for you just as you have been there by her side, supporting her. She will feel appreciated and valued if you share your difficulties with her.

“ Yen always underestimated her capacity to love and how she could make a difference. Just as Yen was a pillar for her friends, she drew her strength from her loved ones. I am thankful for Michael, who always gave Yen the best. I am grateful for having been there when Yen needed me and knowing how wonderful it is that there is someone else who truly matters more than me. Unfortunately, I could not be there when it mattered the most.”

“…unbeknownst to us, our lives are like rocks hurtling through space on a collision course towards some mysterious centre of gravity, helpless in an overpowering field of force some call fate. Maybe Mrs Maple is right, that we are meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?”

“Don’t be embarrassed to tell someone ‘I love you’ everyday or whenever you want to because I really regret not saying it enough when I could.”

Living Room

2009-03-21T05:40:00.000-07:00

Cool, Dark, Burnished Wood
The lilting,tantalising strains of music
Inviting.
Alluring..

A slight, almost imperceptible raise of the eyebrow
Hesitant..shy.
the modern day tango.

she casts a lonely gaze at the entrance
the lock of hair falls from her elegant profile..

there's just something about her.
so familiar, so forlorn,
so enchanting, infuriating and yet,
undeniable, and irrevocable
mesmerising...
inspiring.

ethos

2009-03-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry you can't define me, sorry I break the mold
Sorry that I speak my mind, sorry don't do what I'm told
Sorry if I don't fake it, sorry I come too real
I will never hide what I really feel
No way, oh

....

So-What am i not s'pposed to have an opinion?
Should i be quiet because i'm a woman?
Call me a bitch (bitch) cause i speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if i sat and smiled

When a female fires back
suddenly target don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy would do
Makin' up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say

Chorus:
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder,
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground (our ground)
So lift your hands high and wave'em proud (wohoh)
Take a deep breath and say it loud,
Never can,never will
Can't hold us down

i think this is a beautiful song - "Save me from Myself" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYxmS4UNrWY

"my love is tainted by your touch but some guys have shown me aces but you've got that royal flush i know it's crazy everyday tomorrow may be shaky but you never turn away....when i start to crumble you know how to keep me smiling..."

and This is just cute!;p
Sweet, Sugar, Candyman.-yea baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hrqb1F3W4MU

all things shall come to pass

2009-03-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

i thought i had a best friend.
i really did.
but if this is what the friendship has come to represent then i'd much rather pass.
it's true, what gie said, i'm an idealist, so much so that i shield myself from the uglier sides of this world and pick and choose what i can accept or cannot.
while i do choose to dwell a little in the melancholy, it's not where i reside.
i choose to see the happy, live amidst the innocent, simple, idealistic ones just like me.
i AM a happy person, simple and free.
i crave my freedom and my free-spirited nature speaks volumes about this.
Sometimes, mate, it ain't about the words, it's much more about the actions.

Why do i anger so easily you ask?
I anger over the things that matter.
That's why.

I value work, friends, family.
that's why.

2009-03-18T00:12:00.000-07:00

Why do we sometimes tell ourselves we do not deserve this guy/girl?
Is it just our ego speaking or do we genuinely feel we do not want to hurt this person.
If we truly love and commit to him or her, how can we say we are not deserving?
Because of our past behaviour or relationships?
What a load of bull.

男人不坏，女人不爱？

2009-03-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

男人不坏，女人不爱。
我则是男人不好，我从不敢全心投入地爱。。
男人说真的，始终信不过。

好的男人，不易找。
花心的，到处都有。。。就看你有没对他们感兴趣罢了。。。
较为喜欢你的。。。就会哄你几句，可这都是甜言蜜语。
对你真心。。。省了吧。。
自幼我不轻易相信他人。。
发现是好的。。
长大了。。诚熟了。。自然有自己的看法。。。判断能力。
说真的。。女人可以很情绪化。。也可以很理智。

做事。。可能很稳。。。情场得意得很多时候会忽略事业。
事业心中的。。。很多会对家人，朋友有所忽略。。。

想来觉得自己是个非常注重家庭。。建立自己家庭重要的我。。。
似乎认为。。。虽有野心，但我还是比较注重感情。
坦白说。。没有事业，我认为有家人，朋友疼我。。已经很幸福。
当然，向来喜欢自力更生的我也要多方点心思在事业吧。。。

其实我的志愿很简单
只不过想天天泡一辈辈温暖的咖啡。。。做份温馨的早餐让客人吃。
吃的当儿，要感觉到我的一份真诚，就如痴在嘴里，甜在心里吧！
很多人不知道。。其实我很喜欢跑咖啡。。做西式蛋糕，巧克力饼给人尝。
好想这么有一天能到意大利学会泡香浓的咖啡，学会做"thin crust pizza"，“tiramisu"..等等

终有一天吧。。我会找到意中人和他一起去。
a girl's gotta have a dream, eh? -smiles-

2009-03-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

突然间觉得。。男人真是有点可怕的。
或许就因为目前与我接触的男人就真像是另类的哟。。。
我觉得很幸福，因为。。。我有这么多关心我的朋友。
他们真的不断提醒我。。也想方设法让我了解他并不是我想象中的那么简单，那么完美。
也许我们女人有时真不知道怎么分辨谁才是对我们最好的男人吧。。。

This thing we call the “Plan”

2009-03-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

You see, we all come into our own at some point in our lives.
This is where we start to formulate the “plan” it’s our life plan.
Maybe it comes into being because of our past experiences, maybe a confluence of factors such as our ambitions, ideals, desires, beliefs, values, upbringing, background, birth order. It’s a result of our set of values, where we are in life and where we are headed or want to be.

This plan involves us and significant others and for some, it involves a prioritization of work over family or relationships.

I’ve always been pretty much fixed about my “plan”.
While I haven’t really shared it in great detail with others… here’s what I’ve got to say about it.

My plan involves a lot of creativity, creation of something new, exciting, challenging and not necessarily monetarily-motivated but perhaps more musically inclined, inspirational and expressive. After all, us Pisceans are an expressive lot. Free-spirited, mercurial and uniquely strange. 

Many of my friends have commented about me being somewhat of a strange nut. Thing is, I’ve totally learnt to embrace this spontaneity and use it to my advantage at times. True, some may say it leaves ppl behind when I just go rambling on and on about something that excites me. I need to find my equal in life who thrills in this self-same spontaneity and totally accepts me for who I am. I understand that that may be somewhat of a challenge ;p but no worries, mate, I’m still young.

They say handwriting tells tons about you. Pls do read this http://www.handwritinginsights.com/terms.html
It has revealed to me more aspects of my personality then I’d care to admit.

1.Analytical, tense and self disciplined. Usually can see more than one approach to a problem and therefore often has some degree of executive ability. Uses will power to direct and control his actions.
2.May complete the essentials of a job, but evades responsibility by neglecting the finishing details. Loses interest quickly and goes on to the next thing. Impatience is a part of this writer's personality.

http://handwriting.feedbucket.com/results.php
The results of your analysis say:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
=====================================================================================
I’m happy today or rather I choose to be happy because:

1.I’m better and stronger because I can be mature, take things in my stride and just move on despite this small setback. Life’s tough circumstances can only serve to make us stronger.

2.I think it’s right the way things worked out… Like I think it’s more correct and we can all be ourselves this way.

3.This is life as I expect it to be. I am essentially very idealistic and still believe in my version of my fairtale love story but I believe this is life’s reality dished out to me with that familiar bittersweet taste of well, truth. And truth hurts, darling. It always does.

4.I’ve learnt today that I can be quite strong and mature about things and have the emotional security that I need to fall back on.

5.I’m not afraid to be alone. In fact, I need to be alone for a more substantial period of time before learning to love myself and seeking happiness through being with another.

6.I can be stronger for a friend in need when the need so arises.

7.Most of all, the decision has been made and let’s stay focused and move on from here with new focus, renewed energy and vigour and strive for happiness. What will be will be.

Inner Peace

2009-03-15T00:58:00.000-07:00

Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and happiness.

I would not go so far as to say that i have established "Peace of mind" right now.
Although after surviving that crazy thunderstorm that my family just braved, I've got to seriously Thank God for that.

You know sometimes, I do get the ominous feeling that something bad can happen at anytime, like when we're driving as a family in the car together, i'd contemplate what could happen if we were all in an accident, like what happned to my friend a few years back.. What happens if 3 of your family members were in the car and got into an accident, everyone was seriously injured and suddenly you get a call and they just inform you that really, it's just you left in this world.

What then?

I know you must call me terribly paranoid.
Honestly, I don't even mind this paranoia of mine. It gives me the inner peace i seek when i sleep at night or when i travel. Being prepared and planning ahead is always better than not having a plan at all. I'm a bit of an enigma with regards to this because i can be a totally spontaneous person and throw all caution to the air..when i really am taken by this energetic burst to do something => like Surf, Wakeboard.

It's just Liberating to wakeboard.
I do believe i've never liked anything better.

I love my family and Singapore but sometimes i just find it so suffocating.
Loved making my monthly trips to the East and seeing Doc Ash cos his perspectives are so refreshing. So different from what they think like at work or in the larger context, in Sg.

I'm happy now. I think i've found/attained a certain degree of peace and measured freedom. I am independent, obviously opiniated and have a mind of my own and for once in my life, i'm not afraid to voice my opnions. I know that the people who matter will take the time to sit down and listen so i shall continue to speak my truth quietly and clearly.

I don't blame those who listen and do not understand. It is the ones who do not take the time to listen who do not deserve, in a way to hear what has to be said.

What Doc Ash said makes sense "It is the people who are not trusting who cannot learn to trust easily" However, that doens't apply for me. I'm ever cautious but seriously, you can trust me with things. I know when to say the right things to the right people. I will not blurt and I will always give feedback where it is due and if and only if the person can take it or I feel it is in my place to do so. Otherwise, I'll keep my mouth shut and just listen and observe. There's tons to learn from observing - which i spent the first 15 years of my life doing. Just observing, listening in but not commenting much. Only trusting a precious few and look where that has brought me. I'm surrounded by people who really do care for me and keep a keen lookout for me. And i really appreciate them a lot and will definitely avail myself to them if needed.

兜兜转转

2009-03-14T05:26:00.000-07:00

Enough of playing this game already.
我累了。
这场游戏。。我不想玩了。
今天好悠闲地坐在这里喝杯香浓的咖啡。。可以说很开心。。
就缺那一份安全感。缺那份甜蜜，温馨的感觉。

有朋友这么跟我说过“你很难伺候，什么都要求最好，几乎要完美无缺才开心。
工作是这样，对男人是这样。。。对自己的要求也很高。”
我想是真的吧。。。
我对生活态度向来非常认真。
不是真诚的朋友，我宁可不做好朋友。
谈恋爱- 找不到真心，诚恳，老实的。。我宁愿单身。
目前很怕谈恋爱。
并不是单害怕被伤害，而是。。。我累了。
觉得没什么勇气再去认识新人，再陪养感情。
太累了。
虽说我只不过是和三位很好的男生谈过恋爱，真没资格谈得起什么“累”的。。。
可是。。。就可说是差了个“信”字吧。

也许小琳说得很对。男人就是这样。。。不爱玩什么游戏，就是真么简单。
是就是, 没什么两样的。

剀洋以往说的话我还记得。。。
没有人是完美的，我们要做的就是把不完美的便得更完美。
其实没有东西是完美的。。。尤其是感情。
要学会接受他的一切。

感情吗。。。要学会包容，容忍。
也许我从小就被灌坏了。

脾气很恶劣，非常固执，不爱听劝告。
从小到大，我发现一直是独来独往。
反而让我较容易适应外国生活。

太阳下山了。。该回家了。。
我想。。。又开始从新考虑“it’s the heart that takes the first leap that learns to love”
– Thanks for that lesson Bran.

"Make it with you": Hey… have you ever tried.
Really reaching out for the other side
I may be climbing on rainbows, but they think here goes
Dreams… there for those who sleep

Night is for us to keep
And if you’re wondering what this song is leading to
I want to make it with you
I really think that we could make it, boy

No you don’t know me well
And every little thing only time will tell
If you believe in things that I do, and we’ll see it through

Life… can be short or long
Love… can be right or wrong
And if I chose the one I like to help me through
I’d like to make it with you
I really think that we could make it, boy.

Baby you know that…
Dreams there for those who sleep
Life… is for us to keep
And if I chose the one I’d like to help me through
I’d like to make it with you
I really think that we could make it, boy

或许。。。

2009-03-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

人有时说到底。。。要的就是这么简单。
每个人不断寻找的其实并不是爱，而是被另一个知心的人接受。
这是我亲身体验的。
虽说。。我当时真的不了解，并无法接受。。。现在想回去。。。也能体会到当时对方一定是很痛苦。。
若你真心爱一个人，你真的能不顾虑他的一切缺点吗？
或许如果不能接受它的缺点，代表你根本不相爱对方？
那又怎么能在一起呢？

2009-03-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

When we are sick, all we really want is to regain some sense of normalcy in our lives. The people around us are inevitably affected in some way.
We want them to be happy and in order for that to happen, we've got to get better ourselves.
A hospital visit today forced things into perspective.
When you're surrounded by the sick, the spirit sinks.It's not that you can't feel happy or hopeful,it's the difficulty of feeling so.
Recall visiting TTSH years back when RW was working there.. it was around Christmas and while it was clinical and cold, sterile, there was a keen sense of quiet calm, gratefulness and joy wafting from the volunteers' Christmas Caroling.

It's true, when you're at your most miserable and feeling so depressed, it is sometimes through helping others to feel better that we become stronger. When we see someone weaker suffering, it's almost an automatic response to become stronger for that person and lend a hand in helping.

I think we're basically all really nice people, it's just that most of us get so caught up in our lives that we end up compromising on what really matters the most.

最美麗的第七天(電視劇主題曲)

2009-03-10T08:14:00.001-07:00

在這天這一分鐘遇你
望向街中的感覺很美
下一秒未準備
未適應兜兜轉轉像戲

越過空間差一些運氣
下意識的心想碰到你
剩低我在這地
離別中觸到珍惜道理

＊七天空間交錯　似千次遠離
　一天呼吸使我在回味那空氣
　七天中的希冀　記憶再儲起
　心中一生的美是曾遇你＊

在你身邊匆匆的掠過
未有開口擔心會出錯
未敢愛再等待
重疊的空間終相覓愛

Repeat＊

花一生的福氣為重遇你

简单就是幸福

2009-03-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

《阿旺新传片尾曲(郭晋安/宣萱)》

（男）手中的糖果
共你伴我高歌
同路挽手走过
唯独你跟我
（女）手执起糖果
自觉又在哼歌
相处爱护过
平淡中有你跟我
（男）从心裏
已未寻伴侣
愿意奉上所有亦伴随
（女）童话裹
愿这欢乐可以仍陶醉
（合）避世隐居
（男）爱是从未变
快乐如当天
（合）手裏带著甜蜜圆糖忆当天… … …

I think it's sad when people just judge you.

2009-03-10T00:34:00.000-07:00

What's that cliche again?
Don't judge a book by it's cover.
I really think it's sad in life when people just judge you for how you behaved in certain isolated incidents. It's even worse when they've seen your temper or experienced the full capacity of your wrath just because you were trying that particular day to liaise with so many parties just to get something simple done.
I think we shouldn't be judged by that.

There again, we are the sum of our range of emotions..meaning to say, if we are impatient, i guess we've just got to accept that's who we are.
Well, as i've said, time will tell.
Only time can tell.

I hope we find our people Gie. Till then, we've got to be each others' person.:)

Let me tell you why i like my Morning bus rides

2009-03-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

Having stayed in the boondocks for the greater part of my 25 years...
Let me finally sit you down and explain why i like taking my old faithful bus each morning .. previously to school and now to work each day.
It's got to be fate that it's the very same route as ... nearly 10 years ago!

When i step atop the bus each morning... i used to..
1) See all these familiar groggy faces of the SA guys going to school.. always the same faces.. the ties half-done up..
2) Familiar face of Jackie on the upper deck as I was boarding 97 i believe!
3) SLeep.
4) Huddle in a corner and Hope and Pray the aircon was not switched on so strong!

Travelling on my return journey each day I used to..
1) Wonder why daddy dearest wasn't around to pick me? haha
2) Drop by King Albert Park for Macs! (rarely tho.. didn't like the cliques)
3) Sleep or Wish I could sleep
4) Fall sick and feel pukey all along the way back..
5) Hot and stuff feeling... cockroaches and all.
6) Compose music and lyrics (Think Odyssey of the Mind times..)

and Now as i board the bus each morning...
Try to zone out from the LOUD and oftentimes disruptive strains of TV Mobile.
Jot down stuff to remind myself of what tasks lie ahead..
Wish i didn't have to go to work? hehe thankfully the dread is really not half as bad as previously. In fact, I quite like going to work now!
Think i've always liked working more than school. Seriously.
I wonder why people can't take more ownership of their bags instead of smashing them into the faces of innocent souls who are seated or why they can't just have a hand over their bags to support the weight and not get in other peoples' way.
Hope the days' gonna be a good one where i achieve something.
Hope it's not gonna be too COLD.
hardly.. sleep :)

and Most of all..
Relish the joys of just sitting on the upper deck, music tuned in, drifting away, day dreaming about someone, something :p listening in on my own music, admiring the ebb and tide of life's amusing and special way.

Dream Date - casual chat over coffee

2009-03-07T21:45:00.000-08:00

A Very Happy Birthday

2009-03-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

the day started off from the stroke of midnight, 12am 7 March 2009
And i seemed to be quite steadily on a consistent high thereafter !

i think turning 25 is significant.
To me, 21 is the age you're allowed to do things but really, you were already doing lotsa that way before.. but 25! To me TWENTY FIVE was always the ultimate age, the benchmark for maturity into this wonderful lady of poise, grace, elegance and confidence.

1. Age where i can make my own decisions clearly, decisively, rapidly. I have always admired people who are totally decisive, little hesitation and merciful.
2. I can rent a car and not pay for excess insurance!
3. No need to listen to anyone's rubbish advice. I call the shots.
4. Choose my own way - of living, of leading my life, things i wanna eat, places i wanna go, traveling alone, booking hotels, reading stuff i wanna read, writing things i wanna write about, publishing, playing music i wanna listen to, performing if i so choose to, joining courses i am interested in and can finance. All about being me and daring to be me.
5. Embracing the things in life that matter to me - Music, Coffee Art, Books, Dance
6. Showing care and concern for you fellow man - Family, My Circle of Friends, Co-workers.
7. Travel - See the world in a grain of sand and Discover new things every single day from ... observing that leaf as it falls to the ground, breathing in fresh air, watching the kids in the playground play ... listening in on what the little blond girl says to her day-helper as she walks to her childcare centre everyday with me following closely behind as i walk to work. There's so much to learn and discover each and every day! Live life my dears, it's so very precious and we can all live it to the fullest in our little ways.

"I shall pass through this world but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good things I can do, let me do it now;let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again"

If it never rained we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine! - Adele Basheer

Here's a Thought.

2009-03-05T05:04:00.000-08:00

Just how much do you believe we have to fight for our own happiness?
Just how much do you firmly think we ought to really reach out just to see if the thing we knowwe want is something the other wants to?

I don't understand

2009-03-05T01:31:00.000-08:00

how someone so inspiring and motivating at times can be just so obstinate about things
So selfish about doing things his way and just not listening at all.
Do you reckon the cracks are starting to appear?
I sure hope not.
Persist.
Persist!
Maybe we're both the same on the insde.
We keep pushing for what we believe in, so much so that ultimately, we're both fighting for the same larger purpose, just working at different ways to getting there.

Excerpt of song from Rent

2009-03-03T07:34:00.001-08:00

I love Rent.
I've loved it since working at Suntec days... back in 05/06.. just coming back from Bris.
It's inspiring.

"I'm a New Yorker, Fear is my Life..
Look i find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what i don't know
because reason says i should have died 3 years ago.
"...there's only us
there's only this
Forget
Regret
Or Life is Yours to Miss
No other Road
No other Way
No day but today"

-----------------------------------------------------------
"It's right, that today's Halloween.. it was Angel's favourite holiday.
I knew we'd hit it off the day we met
There was this skinhead harassing her and she said
I'm more of a man than you'll ever be
I'm more of a woman than you'll ever get" -Mimi

"So much more original than any of us
You'd (Angel) find an old table cloth on the street and then sure enough they'd be mass producing them at the Gap
You always said how lucky we were that we were all friends
But it was Us baby, who were the lucky ones"

-----------------------------------------------------------

2009-03-02T00:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, people just don't get it.
Big Sigh.

"Working" on a Saturday - the Best yet!

2009-02-28T05:22:00.000-08:00

It was Wonderful.
Getting 2 of the men in my life to meet.
Ha! More like the 2 best male friends I have to meet.
You know how it is like, just KNOWING that two people will get along.
Plenty of mutual respect for what each other does and overall, just aligned in thinking, mindset, same stage of life, not viewing each other competitively but much more as buddies, mutual friends who can connect.

I like that.
Pure friendship, no hidden agendas, a meeting of the minds :)

Really happy that they share the same passion for cars, for the brand, for business and entrepreneurship.
Ha! the huge thunderbolt of lightning we heard at the showroom today was a total shock.
Thankfully it was just lightning striking the tree (ha just behind my friends' car!) but nonetheless, i'm really grateful no one was hurt, it wasn't a lamp post, just a tree branch and his car was not damaged.
Very lucky on many accounts i must say!

So much has happened in the past week.
Ex-comp gone through so much... had such a great time last night.. it was just like the set on "Friends" where everyone just takes their seats on the L-shaped couch and had a good heart to heart talk and shared openly about what they want to achieve and where they are in life.

True, the economy is doing badly now but what is important is how you pick yourself up after the fall and how you start to rebuild and reinvent yourself that matters.

Lots of opportunities yet and i'm hoping to really stay focused, stay the course and let's ride it out guys!

after the meeting yesterday...

2009-02-25T02:31:00.000-08:00

i'm happy.

1. I have discovered an incredible liking for multi-tasking. Given it's the same mode i'm multi-tasking on.. Love marketing for the variety and challenge it provides and though yes, we worked just TOO HARD last year, it was worth it in terms of training and preparation for bigger things to come.

2. i'm very happy because i have my Dell laptop today and have officially moved into a room.

3. i have a Lot of things and i have no idea how i managed to squeeze it all in the old work space!

4. i'm missing the people who sit opposite me already! Full of crap and nonsense but SUCH a fun bunch!

5. i'm appreciating my work mates more and more each day.

6. how men relate to men is incredibly different from how men relate to women even in a work context.

7. Remain in neutral communication territory at work, always.

8. Patience cures things, even if you are impatient by nature (alter your tone of voice dependign on whom you are speaking to) it sure makes one hell of a difference.
I appreciate my colleague who consistently makes me smile and laugh even though i started out a bit harsh on him. He is, to me, still perfect as a fellow staff and a good listener too.

9. We all have our occupational hazards, Deal With It. No one else is having a much better day then you. Positive energy spreads positively. How true. Thanks Boss for teaching me that. :) You've been most supportive and encouraging and I can only reciprocate through well, working hard and working smart and helping you in achieving the results we all want for the company/division.

10. it's magical just how much difference a work/ physical environment can make. If you're really so darn stressed, get your ass moving, take a step in the right direction, buy an ice cream, talk to a nice and crappy colleague (they are the best!) and just BREATHE.

Highly Evolved Primate

2009-02-23T04:57:00.000-08:00

That's what i've coined for myself today.
I realise i'm a "highly evolved primate"
aha yes very tat-glam but still..
2 of my dear colleagues walked past my room today as i was sipping my tom yum cup noodles quite happily and just kinda poked fun at me while peering inside.. haha!

so i am quite the naughty primate perhaps.
cheeky, mischievious,impervious,cultured, elegant,poised,controlled monkey/rat.
really think i'm more of a rat, always scavenging for food.. taking a little nibble every 2 hours. :p

ooh! look at the cute goodies Shaun, Chea and I discovered that day! One RANDOM weekend shopping...

1. My favourite - turtles! Turtle bread!
2. haha then comes the weird stuff! like FUDGE BAR spelt angrily ...:)looks kinda yummy hmmm...
3. Randy nut. hmmm Okay...
4. Sushi-flavoured chips now that just sounds yum!
5. "House of Steamed Potato" sounds rather officious for an innocent little kimchi cracker duncha think?

Truth time.

2009-02-22T05:10:00.001-08:00

He's right.
it's up to me to make my dream come true.
Always been more of an introspective person, a bit of an introvert really but i realise that asking for what you want can at times yield surprisingly positive results, and really, at this stage of my life, i'm not afraid to try, fail, but persist and hey, it looks like it can only get better if we persist!

:)looking to really achieve something at this new workplace and hopefully, down the road, it'll lead to better opportunities and more chances to really develop expertise in branding and the luxury market.

Test drive today! Fun.. :) like the car but would prefer to drive it/ be driven in it.
Strange eh? I finally realise just what it means to enjoy being driven. Think it's not tt Singaporean gals are materialistic it's just that it really gives a nice sense of comfort and being well taken care of by your man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXX5Jvk9paE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlRxIW2q7hg
Joanna Wang -> i miss ya already Gie!!! and you haven't even left for Melb for more than a day! i suck...
Anyways..."He's just not that into you" is a pretty good show and my fave character was played by Ginnifer Goodwin.
Really like how it forces women to just face reality and stop thinking too much about "Will he call me back...?" etc. i'm a realist when it comes to relationships. I don't believe in playing mind games, beating about the bush. If you like her, just tell her. And realist in the sense that if he doesn't do anything, he's not going to and maybe yea, he's just not that into you so move on and get on with your life cos nothing's gonna come outta it.

曾经。。。

2009-02-20T06:43:00.000-08:00

台湾二零零六。

就是喜欢台湾的。。。朴素

好吃的。。。非常多样化。

总觉得。。座位似乎好怪。。好希奇。

淡水就是那么宁静的一个地方。。

this week's theme song.

2009-02-20T06:17:00.000-08:00

The week has come and gone.
This friday infinitely better than the last and let's hope the last one before that too.
the theme song has definitely been "Lucky"
Frm the anger/frustration of last fri to the ups and downs of the past week.
Let's just say i've slowly but surely discovered the "importance" of my role at my comp.

It's been good.
A real week of discovery and learning.
I thoroughly appreciate each individual for the way he/she is.
It makes a lot of sense to me.
And i really can see what it means - this thing about background, upbringing...
TRUST.
Hmmm someone pointed at that word and said i need to learn to trust.
It's true.
Trust has never come easily to me.
but that is exactly why it means doubly much when i trust ppl and when they have won my faith.
Cross me and it's clear that you will only be treated as a normal friend.
Get in the way of or be bad to my close circle of friends and i will react.
Passively or not, i make a mental note.
Some may say it's bad.
Some say it's really mean or just not a forgiving sign but on the contrary, i believe in giving everyone an equal chance " ... even the dull and ignorant have their story".
We just need to give everyone a chance.. "Seek to understand first.. and then be understood."

Okiez.. it's been a fab week.
I'm Happy.
I'm happy things are in the clear.
I have the understanding of the bosses, the staff.. and i can only seek to continue working hard, working smart and taking things in my stride.
I think i can do that.
Can you ? :)

ok totally out of point but my daily cravings...

Miss the good times

torn.

2009-02-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

Feeling torn having to choose the "correct" route to friendship.
The rightful answer is not supposed to be the hardest and yet it is.
It's for the better, giving up this friendship, though it means so much to me and will be good for career development etc.
Sometimes the younger of us can be the more certain of the right way to go.
Feelings, they can just serve to fool you sometimes.

Naive?
Simple?
Thinking too much?
Unfocused?
Not single-minded about a goal?
Bah-humbug!
I say.

Move on.
Be Professional.
Be Happy, think simple.
Live well.
And let's pamper ourselves and bask in the wonders of friendship for those we care about!

Lucky to be in love with my best friend? really?

2009-02-15T21:45:00.001-08:00

Jason Mraz - Lucky lyrics

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees 
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh



Lyrics | Jason Mraz lyrics - Lucky lyrics

好久没那种感觉。。。

2009-02-15T06:44:00.000-08:00

好久没有体验那种。。怎么说。。。
又惭愧，又害羞的感觉。。说真的。。我原本是代一点兴奋的感觉。。。
过后却觉得很抱歉。。。似乎我们真地打扰了他。惭愧万分。。。

I'm glad today was a good Sunday.
Well rested.
Happy to visit work too :)
Was simply exhausted by the time we went for a swim but it was SO worth it! Promise to swim another time next week. i Love the feeling of gliding through the water... slicing it and leaving mere ripples in my wake.

Last night's dinner was lovely with the girls. We've really come of age so to speak. Mature enough to think for ourselves, clear-headed and yet still making rash, impulsive decisions sometimes (like proven after dinner! ugh.. i really regret showing up there...)nonetheless,the place and ambience was perfect for us.. wonderfully attentive waitress and all in all a lovely night.

We're so different each of us.
The fun, the contemplative, the loud and crazy
Each seeking something different.
Seeking drive, musicality and stability.
I hope we find that which we seek to.
I hope we each find ourselves happy companionship next year.
i hope we find "the best mistake i've ever make (made)"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nn6jk2uD_8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g62R_Znflvc

just how much is too much?

2009-02-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

i wonder about that. Just how hard is too hard? How much is too much?
How much can you push someone to perform and still call it an effort to make him/her excel? To put it simply, how much shit can you pile on someone before he/she breaks or admits that enough is enough?

Fridays.

i recall starting out this blog embracing the notion of "Fridays", TGIF right? You would think.. but really, nowadays and since i've started this blog, fridays are really a form of torture at times, crazy deadlines to meet, time dependent.. the control freak in me just lets itself a little loose. Call me crazy/loony but it's inevitable these days i need to be this way to really achieve things. i need to get things done, PRONTO.
I need my staff to react fast, read me ... practically "feel" my vibe - happy, sad, angry, mad and just intuitively react accordingly. If not, the world turns haywire.

I must admit i'm incredibly happy to be in the environment i currently am working in. Everyone is mostly jolly. I'm surrounded with jolly, happy people and even though it was just SGD$1.20. I was incredibly grateful to my dear "best brudder, Ray" for sparing me the moolah to buy RED BULL. I didn't have time for lunch.. was too steaming ANGRY and seeing RED to really do much in the way of food at lunch time.. but it was my colleagues who are so kind and helpful and so willing to share with me that really made me think hey.. let's sit down with them and really go through this. They are so sweet.. made me feel all the fighting tooth and nail to clarify things was worth my while. And they are worth my while. Totally.

I get things.
I get the dynamics of things more and more now.
I know i don't quite get the product a 100%! (hee) but other than that... communication is so unfailingly important and pertinent that really.. there's no other way i can stress how much it matters how something is said. It matters above and beyond what is being said.

I love my friends now and i think i'm just going to surround myself with the people who obviously deeply care about me. We choose our friends wisely and ultimately, they will be there for you. Ex-boyfriends as well :)As long as you have mutual respect and admiration and respect each other and accept each other for who you are, i'm sure we can all move along as mature adults about this.

Okie. Time to just kick-back and chill with Greys. TO gie: Thanks heaps for coming by babe. Always cool to have ya ard. TO Thana... i Love ya babe! Get well.
And salted will be salted.

This thing about complimentary opposites.

2009-02-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Valentines' Day...well, who ever said we need to be with that special someone? I did go and read the bible - Genesis, as IN so kindly helped guide me to the right section.. but i just wonder.. you know? Why must be with someone else? Cos man was not made to be alone? Hmm...

Then pls tell me how do people juggle career and family and their new nuclear family too! It's such a sheer amazing feat. Sure, there are great examples around but how they did it i have no idea.

Can't quite imagine the whole kids, family, marriage thing. It still seems unreachable somehow.. far separate from the career i want and the things i want to achieve in life.
I'm going to be TWENTY FIVE. It's not old, barely on the cusp of maturity, grace, the mere beginnings of fulfillment of all the things that we've always wanted.

Work was interesting today. I'm slowly but surely getting acquainted with each of my colleagues. I love getting to know them as individuals and for who they are first, apart from their "work persona" and their positions, hierarchy in the organisation.

This thing about work ethic.. who we are as people, who are the ones that are like us.. show the integrity that we value, these are the ones who gain the respect of others through leading by example, servant leadership as we used to call it back in 24th S.C. in SA.

Chatting with XL today.. i REALLY miss SA.. not just the simplicity of it all but how we used to take things so seriously.. i don't know why! haha and how LIFE just seemed to loom ahead of us then.. sharing my scrapbook with her today i can just recall how everything once was so simple and yet so real. The feelings remain and the shared memories will always be there. It is the very reason we are still so close as friends. My councilors will always hold a special place in my heart and i do hope that one day we will be able to take another trip together again.
It's sad that some of us have drifted apart but largely, i believe we're still very much in contact and very much close and love each other to bits! The jokes... the camaraderie, that's never going to go away and we know it.

JC and Council days seem to be a microcosm of life as it is now. Working life, the politics, the minefields but i maintain this dictum and i won't budge on it. Live your life, Be yourself and Speak your Truth quietly and clearly. (Desiderata) No one can fault you for that. "Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence"

It brings to mind the bench by the Brisbane River.. just behind the rowing club. I miss my lone walks there in the mornings or with my mum when she visited. The bench looked like such a peaceful spot it just lured me to it. Upon closer inspection, it confirmed my initial hunch, someone used to come to this very spot, rest for a little while and just sit, watching the river, watching the sky turn from dawn to daylight...it is a beautiful skyline... peaceful and simply quiet.

There was a poem inscribed on the bench...i hardly recall the words...
...but the words simply spoke to me and i remember feeling like i'd "met" a kindred spirit.

ML

ONE month before i'm 25!

2009-02-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

Gosh, is it the peak and all downhill from here? i'd like to think of it as more sure of myself now, more exact about what i want, what i like (purple,black & white!)and really it's all UPhill from here cos Life is what you make of it! :)

WELCOME BACK KEN!
i've immediately keyed in ur home no. into my mobile haha.. just so i know and will pick up the phone when you call.ha.

Learnt today.. just how ppl can be so nice. I think it's really interesting how Life works out sometimes, how we have chance meetings with these ppl we'd otherwise never have met, if it wasn't for our plain curiousity or particular need...
Interesting how i end up being great friends with ppl who are 19, 22.. and you realise we really aren't that different. Increasingly realising how age doesn't really matter now does it? It's just about maturity level, we can learn something from each and every person. It's all about the attitude, being down-to-earth, willing to learn and really just being able to embrace change at times and living for the way you want to live. Taking chances, no regrets. It's the only way to live really.

It's so interesting how sometimes, something that someone says can just strike you. And all it takes is to share a little nugget of information about something you like.. Like the movie "Before Sunrise". I'm a romantic at heart. You just can't be too much of a realist with that romantic, idealistic spirit!

突然间。。。觉得我好累。。。

2009-02-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

似乎没什么力气，决心在这么坚决的工作下去。
有时，我真想放弃自己的理想。。。是否真的很想走那么艰难的路。。。
事业，家庭，两样都那么重要。到底怎么衡量？
每个人长大一定会自问的问题吧。。。

今天与淑琴和慧诗吃晚饭，觉得好想念他们两个呀！好久没见，但似乎什么也没变。。。
工作在一起短短一年。但那年真的是天天会面。。。密切工作，互相鼓励。。。
连今晚，我们突然困在百货商场，说起来真可笑啊！事实上，我真没害怕。。。有他们俩在。。。怕什么?

嗨...明天又要开工了...一方面很喜欢这份刺激,另一方面却老是担心这,担心那的...真拿自己没办法!
算了...随缘吧.

Am I more of a Charlotte? or Carrie?

:p

Seaside, Guitar, Beach and my Man

2009-01-29T23:49:00.000-08:00

Song for You – Alexi Murdoch

So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say there’s something wrong

So Im trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I don’t know even where to start

Maybe that’s a start

Cause you know its a simple game
That you play filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name

And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you won’t land
You think no one understands
No one understands

So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be said
Anyway you’re not here enough to care

And you’re so tired you don’t sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end

And its strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry

Well maybe you should cry

And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands

And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You’re standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move you

2009-01-29T07:12:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT_-Ln7eWpw

My Girlfriends.

2009-01-29T06:45:00.000-08:00

SAD

2009-01-29T06:37:00.000-08:00

It's like this.
I feel like i really wanna go get some headphones. Not just any headphones but of a very specific type - Read: Mich is picky and just needs to get it right. Comfort is No.1 priority.. as usual..:) I can't afford $100+ ones or rather i just won't spend tt on headphones so i wanna go head to Jurong Pt to get some from the fab 24 hr Fairprice right.. but of course NO ONE and i seriously mean NO ONE is free.
Gie - out for coffee, XL as well. SL-out.
MH, EW - not picking up the phone.
It is f.r.u.s.t.r.a.t.i.n.g.
Where are all these ppl when you need them?!
SAD.

i Love Dance!

2008-09-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

UQ event at Wine Symphony

2008-09-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

It was an enjoyable event at Wine Symphony last week. Think it was really an opportunity for the Committee members to get to know each other better as well. Amongst us, we've even uncovered an avid photographer! It was also good getting to know some of the other UQ alumni, who knew some other acquaintances of mine. It's a pity some of those acquaintances were not able to make it but sure looks like we're set on the right direction ... I'm really hoping that we can get better events going that more people will be interested in. Perhaps something that recreates being in UQ? With the Facebook account ongoing i think we will be able to attract more people to join and be aware of the events but it's that extra push they need to come along for events.

Suggestions anybody? Msg me!

happy days*

2008-09-17T22:17:00.001-07:00

Thus entitled because they are exactly that~ happy days*
reminds me of Jamie Oliver's book.
Spoke to sis on webcam yesterday, most fun! Including the comp. hanging part where i had to write out msgs and flash them across the camera! Haha too bad i don't have a mic yet, she can't hear us so i'm typing furiously while she's just merrily chatting but it was definitely fun! Haven't used the webcam in ages! Since bringing my comp to the guy's place back in '04? haha

ON the hunt now for dance classes. Went for an adult ballet one which was great! Lotsa fun and great to remind me what it's like. Should have joined earlier but no worries, not too late, except for the fact i've gotten a little more round since.. ha! Yet, it was great catching up with Shar from SDT days... i miss that! Just the sheer thrill of listening to the music, trying to concentrate and not forget the steps, the incredible stretches, feeling like it's impossibly warm and humid, the leaps across the dance floor! It's all been so long and it's definitely greatly missed! I pray i can join SDT again next year! Hope the teacher and schedule remains unchanged.

It's really been a long while. Let's see, MONTHS probably. Many of my friends have stopped blogging altogether. Me? A spontaneous blogger.

I'm DyING to go on a short holiday next weekend but no one's free! And the timing is really tight. who can spare the weekend?!haha my last leap of freedom before i settle down in a new job. Feeling quite excited, mixed with a tad of apprehension.

Alrightie then, it's down to some research and kickboxing later! tatas!

2008-05-21T08:56:00.001-07:00

The Thing Is...

2008-05-17T02:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been... a month plus, unaccustomed to the sudden freedom.
I've been finding myself oscillating between these thoughts:

1. Waking up bleary-eyed, I don't feel like or Want to do anything other than turn around and head right back into that blissful dream-like state.
2. If I can't find anything that meaningful to work for, why bother?
3. If I don't like the ultimate goal of work, or look forward to what it can bring, if promotion means more responsibilities, is it worthwhile?

Saturdays are turning into the soul reason to wake up at a rather indecent time of 8.30am...(going by my latest standards!) If anything, the reason to really start DOING SOmething.. would be as follows:

1. ENOUGH of cooking shows. There's only that much I can watch!
2. Greats lengths of time at home can kill. If nothing else, the heat will. :)

time for the hunt to begin again!

2008-04-15T03:26:00.000-07:00

2008-03-09T00:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYhrYHmUPn0

WEEKENDS

2008-02-23T19:48:00.000-08:00

Weekends, starting from Fri - MY absolute favourite time of the whole week.
Kopi- the reason for my daily existence
Lunch- a mere short-lived privilege and much needed respite
Dinner- 9pm mostly

Afraid that's what it's coming to! Well, it's the weekend so let's have ourselves a good time shall we?

Going to the Night Safari again tonight! Last time I went was about a year back and I loved it :)
Caught the movie "Fool's Gold" last night which was pretty good, although rather silly I must admit. Sometimes, I'm so constrained by the idea of "quality time" inclined much more to enjoy quantity time!

It seems like a time to be catching up with old friends lately, what with re-establishing contact with Mariko and Mina.. Really WISH i could have more time to spend with these guys... it's been too long!
Ahz... i suppose, we all must learn to indulge in quality time and discipline. (bleagh)

The Five Languages of Love
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Physical Touch
4. Gifts
5. Quality Time

What is your language of love or how you best express your love for someone? Often, it may not correspond with our partners' way of expressing himself.. but learning to understand his ways is really all the more interesting and ...at times a nice, pleasant surprise :)

Highlights of the past month:
1. Chinese New Year Celebrations - I'd give you the link to the photos but i look appalling in most! Nevertheless, I had a fairly good time. It's becoming increasingly pleasant, fun and most interesting finding out exactly what my distant relatives do, what they're like.. who's related to whom... twice removed etc... and the kids! For me, it's always a joy just sitting back and observing the kids...you gotta catch them while their young, 2 years from now, they'd hardly be recognisable!

2. Valentines' Day - Yes, I was late. AGain. Neverthless, i'm deeply appreciative of your patience and undying efforts to keep me happy, preventing crabby Mich from making her re-appearance. ;p It was a lovely night's picnic and frankly, the first time i got to just sprawl out and relax. I LOVE nature, i love being outdoors, i love dancing fairy lights and i love the quiet.

3. Meeting Mariko again - Amazing. After all these.. what 8 years? Chatting online... it's incredible.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Learning each day that sometimes, all it takes to enjoy each day is to find something meaningful you do like at work. Something to turn the day around, to make key decisive steps that help to just MOVE the project forward... rather than taking tiny steps.

2008-01-20T02:31:00.000-08:00

"When you're close to tears remember, someday it'll all be over.. one day we're gonna get so high..."

I miss listening to Lighthouse Family. The self-assured air that they exude is something that is hard to find elsewhere.

Making a difficult decision now, but i'm glad I have the courage to make it. After all, why stay and suffer when you can leave and be better for it?
From talking to colleagues, friends and family, bumping into 1 colleague most unexpectedly last night, it seems like a most unfortunate yet inevitable sign. It's time to move along again.

Tip: Listening to music on the MRT definitely helps to alleviate the morning blues.
Tip: Always find friends you can rely on for certain things, they will be there to listen, if only you give them that chance to help you.

I haven't felt that stressed in ages but the stress has been steadily building up and sometimes really, there isn't a reason to hang on and face it. The heart is half-willing and the flesh is weak.I think my mind just can't take the stress anymore! Pull it in more directions (multitasking for projects) and it might just snap.

How I miss just the simple life : a simple self-made sandwich at the uni cafe, walking to uni. rushing to borrow a book from the library and photostating the relevant portions before the rest of the cohort rushes for it.

We work hard each day, but we need to keep the larger goal in mind. Life is so ironic when everyone is striving hard to make the process of communication better but it ends up moving in the total opposite direction.

Incongruence

2008-01-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

It seemed an unlikely detour.
He drove round the corner and parked... marked by a simple statement, hardly a question..."I need to catch a puff"
I found myself welcoming the unexpected respite..away from the cloistered ambience of the formal meeting.
We don't always want to walk down the well-trodden path.
It's boring, easy to anticipate and really, what a waste!
What makes you excited each day?
CAn't there be work we'd like to do?

the small adjustments

2007-12-08T08:26:00.000-08:00

i think i've had quite enough of...seeing the heaps of people each day as i travel on the MRT. No one really cares what the person next to you is doing.
NO one really bothers so much as to muster a smile, however small, that could make one feel better, much less a conversation.
Quite frankly, the vast majority of us have been brought up to care only for ourselves and immediate loved ones. 自己顾自己as they say...

Don't get me wrong, i'm not lamenting the fact that we are not friendly to others but rather the fact that not many of us would really go the extra mile and do something nice, even for the ones we know.

When you start working, it's an immediate bond with the people travelling in the same cabin day to day.. the faces we get accustomed to seeing. A comfortable familiarity takes over almost. And yet, at times, i just wish it were easier to just break down the barriers and have a simple conversation. Chances are, we're all going through the same long hours at work, demanding deadlines and needless stress and admin... i'm thinking that already speaks volumes about commonalities.

Events - these are the things that help to break that drab monotony that spells our lives sometimes. I just returned from one this evening organised by an alumni association and I'm feeling much encouraged by the response and enthusiasm. It was fun, made us feel good and enjoy ourselves and I really hope to be part of a planning comm for a really successful one that we can put up in our alumni group as well!
Targeting next year and hoping it will work out.*fingers crossed.

Question: What do you do on your weekends?
- I play tennis
- Jazz ballet
- Lunch, Coffee with a friend/2
- Dinner with the family or bunch of friends
- Drinks occasionally
- Shopping but it's more about walking around fairly aimlessly, just browsing.
- Movies
- So tell me what else is a recommended fun shared activity that's good in SG??!

2007-12-03T07:52:00.001-08:00

Lets101 - Online Dating

I LOVE this song!

2007-12-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her
is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her
feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner
like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer
when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on a wire

Suddenly I see

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes
looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel
like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see

Don't you wish for that carefree attitude? To stare right back at people and proudly say, this is who I am and I'm proud of that girl, her achievements and she is working towards the best that she can ever be.

Christmas wishes -> to be back here.http://www.ourbrisbane.com/whatson/christmas/lights.htm
-> to wish only happy things & positive thoughts to people I love and care about.

It's like this.

2007-12-03T06:00:00.001-08:00

I'm not like other people.
I crave uncovering hidden things, desires, passions, discovering new things.
Trying something new.
And maybe, that is going to be the one constant.
Routine suits me, to a limited extent.
While some question occasionally why they are in a particular job, why they instinctively choose the same food, friends, hobbies...
I'm not like that.
I find myself questioning my choices, likes, dislikes fairly often and those that i don't question, well, i'm just set in those ways.

Questioning suits scientists, designers, creators. You yearn to make something different, or create something from scratch.
Visiting the Design Festival this weekend was exciting and just a little tasting sampler for me.. of the wonderful world out there vividly engaged in design, improving the little things that we can.

I think the worst thing in life is not about lacking passion and focus but about dull acceptance of whatever happens.
"whatever happens, happens". HOW CAN WE ACCEPT THAT?!
I believe in fighting hard for what we want, giving ourselves the opportunity to find out if we were right.

Ruby Bluez....alright~

2007-10-30T07:04:00.001-07:00

it's ENDING.
FINALLY.
What can i say?
Overjoyed.
The pure happiness of seeing something to completion?
Yes.
And i'm getting out of the country.
Finally.
GOOOD.

Project Status

2007-10-13T01:34:00.001-07:00

Working on a project is like running a marathon.
You can be slow to kick start but the sense of ownership has to kick in once you near the critical period.
We tend to lose our stamina towards the end but we cannot afford to.
It is towards the end that push comes to shove and the project really needs the people and support to take off.
No one person can do it on her own.
We all need the team to really work full time on it.
So yes, we're tired, hell we can't even concentrate on one thing at a time and we are ALL multitasking.
It doesn't give us the most efficiency but we've got to make do.
We can't give up when we're nearing the end, no matter if the responsibility doesn't lie that heavily on us.
有始有终 if you were willing to start something, let's see it through to a beautiful finish, shall we?

Dangerous Territory

2007-10-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

Treading on dangerous territory.
there are and will always be matters which involve a fair amount of risk. Living your life to the max necessarily includes that, to my way of thinking.
In business,you need to take calculated risks to succeed. That is the way I think life should be led as well.
Can't quite imagine living a life content as it is without having ventured forth and tried a fair number of things and really thrilled in this exploration.

在咖啡店
我们就坐在附近的咖啡店。。边闲聊，便悠闲地阅读设计杂制。
周围环境很舒服，让人陶醉。。忘了自我。。似乎忘掉目前工作上的种种烦恼。。。
是。我是很年轻。
对，我是没见过多少世面。。。
但我总觉得。。。要多了解他并不需亲身体验，
我们多加点耐心去了解对方，这就不成问题。

人，总会便老。。。我们也会变得更成熟，会自己思考。。。
当然不可否认的事，长大了。。自己的心灵也不一样。
人吗，个性会变，生活态度，思维。。生活上的要求。。。这些都会有所改变。
但我最担心也最希望不会发生在本身上的是，对生活的态度。。面对生活的积极。。对不同事物的兴趣。

每天上班总带着一总厌倦，疲乏的脚步。。。。一步一步，慢慢地。。。
这哪是生活的方式嘛。。。
我喜欢工作。。工作不旦是为了赚钱。
从工作方面也能吸取经验。。。。帮助自己成长。。
我认为无需每天带着疲劳的步伐上班。
明天。。。有时新的一天。。任由我们怎么选。

王力宏落叶归根歌词
词曲:王力宏
举头望无尽灰云
那季节叫做寂寞
背包塞满了家用
路就这样开始走
日不见太阳的暖
夜不见月光的蓝
不得不选择寒冷的开始
留下只拥有遗憾
命运的安排
遵守自然的逻辑
谁都无法揭谜底
喔～远离家乡不甚唏嘘
幻化成秋夜
而我却像落叶归根
坠在你心间
几分忧郁几分孤单
都心甘情愿
我的爱像落叶归根
家唯独在你身边
但愿陪你找回
所遗失的永恒
当我开口你却沈默
只剩一场梦　
我要啦免费统计 VIP 用户站长统计

Bad Taste Bears

2007-10-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.badtastebears.com/

the HOT sun... glinting off the glass windows and car windscreens...
myself and my colleague slowly emerging from a nice lunch at the nearby cafe.
and what did i see but "Bad Taste Bears"... thought it was really something edible at first glance~!

:)
but haha.. realised with great delight that it was very exciting, insinuating... strange... totally Brit humour!
Very fun.. pls go to the website to check it out!
Bought one for a colleague's b'day! Hope her children don't get too curious / disturbed!
Always good to have fun once in a while! ;p

Glass Buildings

2007-10-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

they give you a sense of something new. Something reflective of modernity, progress and moving forward.. yet interlaced with an introspective feel at the same time.
I like glass buildings but more than that, i like a sense of the old and authenticity.
Give me that anytime, give me a cosy, old warm little place i can crawl into and seek solace and comfort anytime.

We're conditioned to liking the new, spanking new shiny happy people.
I like the quaint and old. Visited The Majestic for Dad's b'day which was lovely, interesting experience, eclectic and really the chinese restaurant is reminds me of a hip restaurant in downtown Sydney but what i like is how the surroundings remind us all a little of the past and old Singapore, what with the neighbouring clan associations and even the strains of an ongoing opera practise!

Been exploring parts of Singapore,as i said, I'm a tourist in my own home ;p and proud of it. There's still plenty to discover if only we had the patience, the curiousity and the company to uncover it with.
Little India, Geylang Serai, Chinatown, Changi.. they are all special in their own way. Each carrying a distinctive flavour that isn't quite replicated elsewhere on our little island. Every day we report for work, oblivious to many things around us that are the sum total of the lives of others amongst us. I stepped out of the front door to the office today and saw a man seated right beside the door step rummaging through old things that we had thrown out. It just seemed disconcerting seeing this. No, I did not feel obliged to ask anything but I just felt it all didn't quite add up. It might all have been simple and really nothing noteworthy but is this really quite the sum total of the life he leads each day? I don't want to imagine, really.

Another day's to come, another day at work.
Another day of troubles, another day of problems to solve.
Another day of worry and one day closer to the weekend.

ONE Word

2007-09-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

If you imagine a single chinese word on a wood carving framed up in your room... what word would you choose?

Me : 静 or 思
Dad : 豪

Others: 爱，忍，

What about you?

Been a while

2007-09-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

it's really been a while since i've updated ya..
life's been pretty alright save for a little boring.
I'm just not the type of person who can tolerate boredom.

Love jazz ballet. Love dance, thrill in travelling and excitement
and there's always gotta be a sense of adventure.
Have discovered that there's plenty of interesting things..
You know how we all take the train to work each morning, wishing there was somehow no work that day, that the train would just de-rail or SOMETHING , ANYTHING would happen just so we Didn't have to make it there?
Well, sometimes, all it takes is to look at things through a different lens, and you'll discover something new each and every time you gaze out of the windows at whatever passes us by. I thrill in that, spotting something different each day. It may not be something huge, but a subtle difference, or even a development at a site, something being built gradually, bit by bit. It just...
intrigues me.

I Loved the rain today.
It made the air so crisp, so clear and yea, refreshing.
Like a thin slice of mint.
Love the Yakun near Muray Terrace. It just seems so authentic, unassuming and genuinely a good place to have a great chat and while the afternoon away.
You know how it is chatting with older people. They give you the time of day. They enjoy sharing and that's something we need to learn to treasure.
Too few of us have time for that these days.
Walking back from work some evenings, you just feel so light hearted, happy.
Like there wasn't a care in the world and the feeling that you'd rather be elsewhere is strangely replaced by a familiar, cosy calm - that you're going home. :)

You've got mail

2007-09-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

The phrase "You've got mail" has slowly but surely taken on a whole new meaning for me.
Rushing downstairs to decorate the office today, what did i find but another package waiting there at the reception desk... innocently.

As i'd mentioned in the earlier post, life has been taking an exciting turn.
This package was fairly small in size but constituted a SingPost brown pack abt A5 size, no less. My initial thoughts - it's gotta be my client providing some samples for us as a reference/ New work to be done up.

One look at the handwriting and I changed my mind.
And it was a very sweet and well thought out gift in actual fact. ;p found myself grinning at the appropriateness and how aptly it fit.

Haha Cheers on ya mate, smart move, this one.

And ya know, he's got real supporters at work! hahaha.. you should have checked out some of the comments. hilarious.

Back home, inbox indicates it's another mail from mr anonymous. another interesting fella, well now.. MR SIXES, you guys are on.

haha.And the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down, we're captured on the carousel of time.. we can't go back we can only look back from where we came and go round and round and round on the circle game.
No idea why that popped into my head. it just did.

You know, i think no matter what happens, life seems to move in predictable patterns. True, somethings you just can't help from happening. But some things like your own preferences and choices, you just do not quite understand yourself sometimes or why your own preference is for certain personality types or can't quite explain the affinity you have with certain people. Put simply, it just clicks.

People, prejudices and preconceived notions.

And suddenly....

2007-09-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

Life is filled with its thrills and spills again!
Just the way i like it.
No, it's nothing quite like the life of a celebrity as I'd just stumbled on one such blog.
But seriously, feel like my life has really stepped up and there seems to be no looking back from where i've come from.
Sure hope i'm headed in the right direction.
What I can say now is it's looking good.

Walking in Chinatown earlier this evening, I just felt... happy.
Determined and a little upset I could not find what I want yet nevertheless, light hearted and yes, happy.
I used to believe happiness is really but a fleeting feeling.
Right now, it seems a little more tangible and really has to do with your own personal outlook.
I loved walking the streets and observing the traditions of us Chinese. It just intrigues me how I can be living amongst ppl who have such staunch beliefs and I myself feel so foreign to these ideas.
In search of something so 'common' as i'd thought - taichi shoes, that sure was not easy. Believe i asked easily 12 people at least! Haha I am surprised even by the great lengths i took to find them!
Maybe it was the interesting lanterns on display that captivated me or the many helpful people I asked -> who kept leading me to strange places where they just DID not sell the right stuff! Haha.. Case in point: these days, everything in our sunny island is sanitised, clean, modern stuff, hardly a touch of the authentic! NOT even in 中桥 emporium.

While crossing the central bridge, I chanced upon a small group performing in hokkien... There was quite an audience with many older people gathered around.. some were happy, singing along to the familiar tunes. Seriously, I thought it was pretty heartening. Sure beats older people being utterly bored at home. One thing that would be horrible is losing mobility. I don't like to contemplate the idea.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And suddenly, I just want to dance!
"The Legacy of Goh Choo San" really blew me away.
Have always had a keen interest in dance but I think it's a whole different level of appreciation once you actually attend classes yourself!
Was impressed with the flexibility and strength in their bodies, their form and lines, the pure musicality of their movements - poetry in motion.
It was beautiful and ballet is really something that perhaps is hard to appreciate unless you have that keen eye for such beauty or you actively practise it and can understand what it means to command such discipline over your own body.
Control, that's what it's all about.
and it's not beyond any of us to achieve it.
It speaks of a certain grace, elegance and femininity.
Just felt so proud to be taking classes from one of them. :)

Look me in the eye

2007-09-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

"Where do you go, with your broken heart in tow
What do you do with the leftover you.
And how do you know, when to let go,
Where does the good go.
Where does the good go."

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me, you won't go"

A smart man will never make such a promise.
A smart lad would never dare to venture such a promise for the simple fact that he cannot tell you in the face he will never let you down. He cannot give such a promise that he can't keep.
And so, we are left struggling with the question, indeed, "Where does the good go?"

Life - the harsh realities we sometimes find hard to accept, the exciting trials and challenges, the quiet and contemplative moments. Without a keen understanding of which, it would just fade to dull drudgery.

I like life in the fast lane.... it's the only way to live it!

2007-09-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

Life's been pretty exciting this past week.

JAKARTA was amazing:
1. Simply blown away by the kind hospitality showered on us by the Client.
2. thought working life in Sg was tough? The trip made me think twice about that.
3. Never had that many donuts at one sitting! J.Co is way better than Krispy Kreme!
4. Instant coffee with great aroma = coffee with sediment
5. Steering the wheel single-handedly while messaging or talking on the phone with the other = Piece of cake.
6. Shopping malls are all MEGA malls
7. Bread Talk,M.phosis,Bakerzin,Mango,Zara,Carrefour...even Ya Kun kaya toast have set foot in the bustling city.
8. Traffic never ceases. Traffic jams are the norm, do not expect to reach the airport on time if you do not buffer sufficiently.
9. Something as simple as crossing the road can be dangerous for your personal safety.
10.There isn't really a moment when the air does not stink.

I loved the respectfulness of the locals, the gentle yet friendly nature of the ladies and the cheeky friendliness of the men we met. True, we started off each meeting all a little distant and careful but ended each one on a high note interspersed with innumerable humourous incidents.
From my initial impression, people travel to Jkt for business reasons. Few would come here to learn more about the culture or if so, would travel on to Bogor or Bandung or even Lombok, Sumatra, Java. Life is anything but easy for the locals, unless you are rich and even so, it is about keeping up with the appearances.
Wandering the streets is not considered safe, even amongst the locals. Jakarta is a capital city that is not want of much except the environment that allows their people the freedom and capacity to enjoy the fruits of their labour.

my absolute favourites

2007-08-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

Some amongst us are always waiting in the wings.
Yet others never seem to falter in taking the first move.
Who's to say which is the more successful?
Who's to know which one is "right"?
Love - it ain't about strategising.
Treat it like a business and you're doomed for failure.
Watch-...observe, learn, try, fail, breathe,take the risk.
there can be no success without even trying.

"Wait, wait for the dawn my dear
Wait till the sun gets here
And you will wait too long he will be gone
Wait, wait till the sun shines through
Wait till the sky is blue
And you will wait too long he will be gone, he will be gone

Wait, wait till the signs are right
Wait till the perfect time
And you will wait too long he will be gone, he will be gone"

Wait.
and he will be gone.
Life's like that. You can't keep on waiting.
He will be gone.

What of the ones of us who refuse to take that first move?
What of the ones amongst us who know in our hearts "This is the one!" the ones amongst us who fight every instinct although we know, we've always known that he is the one.
and yet...

And this so aptly describes how we feel day to day, to work and back from work.
Always a rush, never miss a beat, never enough rest.

"The city keeps on going.
On.

Float down the river with my Indian Jay.
Get off the boat and board a plane to JKF.
And I, ain't slept a week.
But it don't seem to matter to the subway speakers, squeak (and squeak)

The city keeps on going.
We just keep on rolling.
The city keeps on going.
We just keep on rolling.
On.

Grand Central Station and got wind they're coming down.
And the goodness yesterday.
No one round oh and I still recognize her after all these years.
And she still looks the same,
Ah, she still looks the same.
.....
Oh and we end up in Brooklyn.
It was rainin' so hard.
Come up all day.
And the rain to clear it off,
Oh we're just people watching on 3rd and St. Mormons.
And when the girl's kissing my face,
My face
She was just kissing my face.

....Just when I was sick and lonely,
There was a shaking on the ground.
We were hiding from the rain.
We were riding on the train.
Just when I was sick and lonely,
There was a shaking on the ground.
Were were hiding from the rain.
Were were riding on the train.

Distinct memories - they jar your senses sometimes. Jolt you awake. you don't want to revisit them, to go back there. Can we ever have it in us to just.. forget?

life moves on. whether you want it to or not.
No one will wait simply because no one can afford to wait.

-contemplate a life like that-
we've got to catch ourselves.

I solemnly vow...

2007-08-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

I,_______ , do hereby solemnly vow to take you,______ to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do us part.

I promise to cherish you and to hold you. To try and understand the source of your fluctuating moods (however often)and share in your joys (even those that others deem too small and insignificant).
I promise to be by your side despite your inability to have the air-conditioning on while you sleep,or the fan,or the window opened more than 5cm, to tolerate your impulse buys and equally impulsive insistence on joining new recreational activities. I will agree and support you in your innumerable "action-packed" forays and adventures, no matter how unbelievably strange and costly.
I will try my utmost best to tolerate your temperamental nature, perfectionist behaviour and incredible affinity with lateness.
To the best of my ability, I will try to drive you to work.. and back, time and mood dependent. In any argument or potential disagreement, I will endeavour to see things from your point of view, to look beyond and see the humour in the situation and to laugh at how silly we can be by being so obstinate.
I will laugh when you laugh (even if I may take 2 seconds later to find it funny), to hold you when you are sick and yes, even pukey although you might look a little green and smell absolutely disgusting. I promise to help you when you fall sick, to lead you when you do not feel comfortable with leading, to fill in the lapses in our conversation with comforting words, humour and wit or exchange knowing glances. I promise to try to recall the times we spent together that you cherish so dearly, even though i seriously cannot recall some of them.. but I WILL try.

And that my dear... is my most solemn vow.

haha now tell me. which guy would do that?

National Day

2007-08-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

Pics of 24th S.C. 6th Anniversary!

Singapore celebrates it's 42nd birthday today.
National Day.
Mixed feelings.
It was heartwarming watching the parade.
Sure seemed to me like a confident Singapore, taking a bold, decisive step and "re-inventing" the wheel.

Wonderful breakfast with great bunch of friends :)
EAst Coast is so lovely, so different from the West.
Marie, your place was so very cold but strangely, felt so warm and happy amongst all of you.
It was like a nice little breakfast trip to West End... or trip to the countryside in Maleny? Haha i know sounds a tad far-fetched but that's just my active imagination.
Realise Marie's place is kinda similar to mine in the overall feel, minus the proximity to Cable ski 360 haha.
Funny, funny how we all have this "Council-gathering-session", evaluating each others' new other-halves or to-be other-halves. haha! Beneath the fun and laughter, i think we do care about each other and that's cool. But seriously wonder sometimes, just how well we know each other.

Ahz.. i wonder, if it's always gonna be this way. We're out from work for a day but we still feel, still think about it.. Still wonder what the next day is gonna be like.
Sigh.

f.e.e.l.i.n.g.s.

2007-08-04T03:38:00.000-07:00

i'm feeling exhausted.
not just tired.
but burnt out.
i feel it frequently...
and it's not just towards the end of the week.
in fact, Monday nights are the hardest to handle.
i'm glad for the National Day break because, frankly,
i need a break.

--------------------------------------------------------
Gotta admit, it was a heartwarming, nice, cosy little dinner we had last night
Ate at Spring Court that happens to be celebrating it's 78th year in existence!
Wow.
Met Joseph again, having just returned from his work trip to China.
Really, it was a nice night.
Great food, wonderful company and so impromptu it was lovely.
--------------------------------------------------------
...there isn't a real stop to it.
it thrives on curiousity and interest
it's awfully time-consuming and you just can't stop adding onto the wealth of info. there is out there.
Manifesting itself in many forms, be it through print, new media, it's a treasure trove of info. out there...
for you to digest, understand, simplify and distill.
Research, that's what it is.
-------------------------------------------------------
You ever feel you're so comfortable with some people and you never need to explain yourself with them?
Ever feel like you just wanna sit down and have a coffee with this person and the conversation can just go on cos.. gee this person's mind is just so intriguing and there's so much you can learn and so much you can talk about?
Ever think a "connection of the minds" is closely tied to a "connection of the heart"? Felt like sharing not to inform but to involve?
Ever been able to pre-empt what this person was gonna say?
It's the magic you should never let go off.
------------------------------------------------------

of weeks passing by, weddings... and LoVe ;)

2007-07-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

It's been weeks since i've blogged??! most unacceptable.
I've missed it.
Missed having my own time and space within which to be inspired.
Motivated? Yes.
In fact, just a day out of work during the week is such a welcome relief.
It's tiring, draining to be constantly straining to communicate properly in english.
Tough, but a real challenge that can run into the strangest, funniest circumstances.
As Miss Heng (SC principal) said, you can't run a school without that humour and wit.
I'd like to add that you can't survive in the most trying circumstances without that ability to take a step back and laugh at the most dire circumstances.

Really.. shit happens. and we have to learn to laugh at it .. look beyond the grey clouds.

I bore witness to a lovely wedding today. My cousin's wedding.
It was wonderful on more accounts than one as i was reunited with some ex-colleagues whom i used to work with about 2 years back. :) lovely. i love reunions!

Weddings...where we bear witness to a couple who finally take that step forward and claim their love and commitment to each other. Weddings are special in so many ways and I just love to see the beginnings of something that can be so beautiful. To have someone to love and support you and vice versa and to bring out the best in each other. Now, that is idealistic but surely.. many have seen the wonders it can create.

As they say, you don't marry the one you want to live with but the one you cannot imagine living without.
Am Very very happy for 2 close friends who have decided to take that step in affirming their relationship to each other as well. What can I say? Am just very happy I asked a nice question to set right the mood and pave the way :)
I should really look into being a wedding planner! haha.. although knowing the pains it will take, i'm a LITTLE reluctant ;p

Ladies always look towards creating that perfect wedding for themselves. In reality, the actual wedding does matter in creating that experience for your guests. In a way, it is akin to recreating your love story and the guests bearing witness to each of you declaring your love for each other and commitment from this day forward. But the truth is... we should learn to take it easy, the vow is the most important thing and everything else will fall into place without us going ga-ga over it. Micromanaging isn't going to help either. Somehow, people can see when 2 people are in love and that's all that really matters,not creating that perfect setting and fabricating something just so the guests have an enjoyable time. I think simple is best.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the weeks have been flying by...
It's been close to 6 months since i've joined the company.
i'm happy
i'm tired
i'm exhilirated
my heart is constantly beating really fast
i've had dozens of cups of coffee from across the road, killiney, to the neighbouring food centre, restaurants... takeaway... from the office Nescafe machine... etc.
i have climbed the wooden stairs and spiral stairs at least 5 times each day multiplied by 5+ months.
i have had 鱼片米粉just one time too many i think! ;p
i've gotten tremendously excited
contemplated rolling down the stairs many times to get to the 1st floor faster
flushed the toilet thousands of times cos it just can't seem to work
repeated my instructions whether internally or externally at least trillions of times
sent countless emails and refused to delete them for fear of needing to dig up little nuggets of info.
my mail inbox is officially bursting at the seams
lost weight
bought cake from The Patissier!
called for a cab from MY FAVOURITE Taman Jurong taxi service many many many times!!!
met various great friends for lunch at neighbouring food centres and makan joints..
all in all, it's been one hellavu ride!

am i ready for more?!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

updates from me

2007-07-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A"

haha sure feels like it sums up my life at the moment! Okay, truthfully, it isn't half as bad. For starters, my job's no joke, though i am quite broke!
heh.
It's been an interesting life these past weeks. Things are picking up and i'm feeling far more alive in this job than i've been in any other, that's for sure!

Updates:
1) I LOVE Alphabet Weekends by Elizabeth Noble... makes me believe in an everyday sort of love that can exist, can be passionate and can be staring at you right in the face all along, just that you deny it's existence.
2) IE Forum was very insightful and a huge learning experience for me. Exciting to be seated in a panel format amongst distinguished guests and to participate in a forum that appreciates branding for what it really stands for. I love learning from their experiences and really marvel at the brave step each entrepreneur takes as they first venture forward, taking on the world!
3) Parties/ Social Gatherings energise me!
4) Sitting at the seminar room today, the first thing i marvelled at was not the speaker (although his voice was so appropriate for the occasion), not the collateral and conference material (although that WAS excellent), but the rows upon rows of bottled water, arranged so meticulously and neatly, forming a perfect row! I think this is the event organiser in me speaking!
5) Can't wait for 24th gathering! Response has seemed positive but, girls! where ARE you all!? Wish those that have disappeared would just appear again!
6) I've learnt about marriage: that in this life, you marry the man you cannot imagine living your life without.
7) Children are really, a marvellous thing... and i'm having 'nesting' syndrome by staring at all things 'baby'.
8) Many, way too many things are EXCITING to me, and FUNKY. But, at moments of "truth" and "revelation", i am suddenly clear about distinct routes i'm gonna take in my career and life, and the things i want to pursue, or routes i can take. I sorta know what i want, just need to "path-find" my way there... slowly but surely.
9) Life is about all the special moments, the in-betweens,that really matter, in the end.
10) Never look down on anyone, even the smallest executive with the least welfare benefits and treatment can rise to become the biggest star. *

Night!

My little slice of heaven

2007-07-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

Now, what do you consider to be your little corner of the sky?
"Don't take more than you can bite.." that what they say isn't it?
We should learn to be content, learn to handle things bit by bit.. a little at a time.. before we rise to greater challenges. What's often happening however is quite the opposite. Instead of that, I'm finding life is becoming something of a real hazard, often throwing you in at the deep end of the ocean and forcing you to swim or quite literally, sink.

Caught a little snippet of "Desperate Housewives" and for the first time i really identified with Lynette's character and how she must feel being unable to juggle her husband's failing career, children who were proving such a handful (boys!all THREE of them!) and life just seemed too hard to handle. It's true, what Bree said, "No one likes to admit they cannot handle it".. No one ever likes to say "I don't cut it" and say it as much as we'd like.. we don't really WANT to say "I quit". That's as good as a last resort really.

I used to ADORE watching "My Restaurant Rules" and slurped up every little detail about putting a restaurant together and the trials that it made the couple go through. Amazing how one can feel so confident about the concept from the outset but get so emotional and weighed down and troubled in the process, when considering the eminent closure of the restaurant they'd set up as a couple.

It's sweet and i'm sure i'd LOVE to be supportive if ever a special someone would want to go into such a venture. But having had a little tantalising taste of business, it just ain't easy out there and it can be a potentially really harmful thing to want to go into a business partnership together... and yet unveiling potentially great rewards and joy .. naturally building a stronger relationship should the whole business work out!

I've always wondered and imagined it must take "some kind of magic" to have that special connection with someone and to be able to pre-empt what he or she is gonna say next and what they think. I suppose that's chemistry. Do ya think chemistry can be built through time? Honed? ... possibly but if it wasn't there in the first place, little hope of it developing!

turtle crossing the road

2007-06-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

on..Thursday, my office staff found a turtle crossing the road. She picked it up and brought it back to office. It was kept in a box with a little water and veg to nibble on.
Myself, having had press check in the morning in Tuas knew nothing of the turtle until someone asked if I wanted a pet. This was just at the instance when I was staring longingly at a picture of a dog projected on the computer screen. How uncanny, I was thinking to have a turtle APPEAR in the office?~! Just like a little gift from God.
My colleague brought it back though... and i'm still weighing out whether i should keep it. As much as i'd love to, think my mum isn't quite so keen!

CHeerios for a good Sat!

Been an engaging week... lots to learn from those around ya. This is a really trying job, but i love the work...
I missed tennis AGAIN this week! shucks.

strange conversations

2007-06-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

Sunday night-
... jogged 3.2k...
just as i was passing him, he stops and asks,
"hi, what's your name?"
pause.
turns around, guarded "why?"
..secs of silence, awkward pause.."No, I just thought you look sweet and want to know you"
long pause...puzzled, bemused expression..
shakes head "Maybe next time"
-hurry baby, hurry home-

interesting Monday..non-crisis management.
the day just seemed to cruise by and i could do my fave- writing/ copy-editing.
certain things just give me a kick.
Even more surprisingly, everyone seemed to be in a pretty good mood!
Despite having a bit of a "feel-like-i'm-a-hamster" at the whim of client mood...I got to get OUT and buy coffee for everyone which i embrace wholeheartedly!
;p

Cheers to a better week!
I got off at 7+ WOOHooo! What a winner!

Spirituality & Tenacity

2007-06-10T02:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend got me thinking about Taoism and Buddhism and exactly what it means to subscribe to that faith. I must admit i am feeling intrigued by the values that it espouses and interested to find out more. All my life, i've only had Christian influence from chapel and friends... now's the time to find out a little more i suppose.

Honestly, i'm on the lookout for all things that are calming, encourage me to build my patience (i'm an incredibly impatient person!)and really just enjoyable and relaxing.

The facial i went for was HEAVENLY. Hope to return!

Also finally made a trip down for Ken and Mark's organised SOG yest which was good! New faces to meet... new games to play (all the nice, silly fun ones are prefered!) Pity i couldn't get down earlier but i made it and can finally take a look at the setup which i'm happy to have done. Just remember guys, regardless of the time, Mich will try her best to make it. It's just a matter of time. On that note, yes i can totally understand if ppl can't wait, traces back to my lack of patience too.

Argh, there's so much i wanna do, so little time and really where's the time for leisure i wonder? I would love to volunteer somewhere, pick up piano again, do guitar strum and sing, dance, help little children at a childcare... but most of all, i just want a short BREAK.

Hate to say i've had enough, have really really supportive and wonderful colleagues but i'm in a super crazed kinda mood these days. I swear sometimes, receiving their messages asking if i'm still in the office or even offering me a sweet, kueh, nice hot cuppa tea can bring tears to my eyes (of the good variety!) but other times when i just CAN'T FIND MY STUFF! it irritates the hell outta me and i have it at the back of my head the WHOLE DAY.. just can't forget it. UGH. i'm trying to resist the urge to go back to the office now. -sigh-

WORKAHOLIC 101.
1. you can't rest till you've finished something that you've started.
2. you can't sit down to eat lunch until you've found something you've been looking for.
3. dinner, what's that?!
4. coffee, somebody just give me a cup will ya? thanks, low on the sugar, double shot from Sin Bee opp. my office, $2.20.
5. Give me a pair of jogging shoes so i can take a quick run and come back later?
6. Just shoot me.

Let's hope the coming week brings some measure of joy. To be able to have LUNCH would be nice. OUT of the office pls.

Lurf,
Mich

My favourite part in "Serendipity"

2007-06-03T07:50:00.000-07:00

..."Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiance. He was thirty-five years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit for his long, reputed soul mate; a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, it is a tapestry of events that culminate into an exquisite, sublime plan. Ask about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. Things were clearer for him, Kansky noted. Ultimately, Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe we must all possess a powerful faith, of what the ancients used to call fatum; what we currently refer to as destiny."

to have a friend who would write something like that for me.. that is a rare blessing. i'd be hard pressed trying to think of someone close who'd do that for me. A eulogy at that, being able to express your innermost thoughts in an essence of who i was.
interesting, intriguing or just plain morbid?
i love it.
am even toying with the idea of putting pen to paper.
like i said.. awoke this sat morning with a disturbing line from a popular song "上帝会保佑我吗？”