why do close ones have to leave us?

Reading the “Special Remembrance” from Law Gazette, I just couldn’t help tearing..

Excerpts from the article below show the pure and unadulterated joy that she brought to her close friends and it just breaks my heart to think that someone so wonderful left us all poorer because she is no longer around to touch another life, bring a smile to another just like she would if she only could.

Michael Puhaindran.
“Nothing I can say in this short note would properly capture the wonderful life-giving force of nature that was my wife…Yen could be strong-willed and stubborn and yet she possessed the softest of hearts and the gentlest of souls.”

“I think it was the Monday before she left: She was tired after work while I had been bumming around since I was between jobs. In the lift on the way to our unit, despite her tiredness, she suddenly turned to me and gave me the most heartwarming and dazzling smile. I remember that moment to this day. At that point, I truly thought my life was complete.”

– I think this is a heart-breaking snapshot of a memory from her husband, Michael and it just strikes me how precious each and every moment is we have in our lives. Just think, it was in that special moment you shared with this person that you had that connection, shared a moment that both of you were touched by. It’s sweet and it just aches to know that he won’t have her by his side any longer..

“Yen had a list for everything! One particularly hard moment for me was finding the shopping list that she had given me the night before she left. All the items were written out….It was Yen being her cheeky self. Needless to say it really broke me when I came across that list which I had left in the centre compartment of my car.”

“The world is a poorer place without Yen. I’m not saying this just because I’m her husband and I miss her so, so much. NO, the world needs more people like her. A truly gentle, innocent and delightful soul.”

“Finally, though I reside now in so much darkness, Yen would not forgive me if I ended on such a note. …”

Written by Bryan Tan…
“There is a world beyond words. Words, those tools of trade that we lawyers use daily. But are we truly able to distil to language the depths of love? Who has the vocabulary to map all the contours of grief?...
I didn’t have to put in words my vision; she saw it on her own. To lose her is to lose a part of my soul. Apart from telling you that, I can find no other terms with which to express myself.

Somewhere beyond the reach of language, beyond the borders of meaning, beyond the geography of life: that’s where she is now.”

Written by Richard Lam…
“Once in a lifetime, you will meet that special someone whom you know will always remain steadfast aand true, someone who will be there in your darkest moments, the wind beneath your wings. I sincerely hope that you have met your special someone of have been blessed with the honour to love someone, because everybody deserves to experience this once in every lifetime”

“I guess I have always lived vicariously off Yen’s passion for life, her courage to let go of sensibility and go where her heart leads her. Yen taught me that life is not just about weighing the pros and cons of every decision. She said, “Listen to your heart”. Yen loves and loves, she loves so much that she infects and inspires those touched by her to strive to be better persons. She was the daughter my mum (of every mum) never had.

I have learnt to be more patient but I don’t think I could ever share her uncanny empathy and capacity to share, understand and always be there for others. I have learnt to be more considerate but I miss how Yen completes my sentences. I wished it did not cost me so much to realize this, but I have also learnt to forgive and forget because life is just too short to bear grudges.

- We have to cherish who matters to us. We have to let them know just how much they mean to us. Us Chinese families are often too afraid to express love, affection, translating our concern instead into nagging as a form of showing our care and love. I urge you to express your care in simple, clear ways that one would understand and be able to easily appreciate. We have to slightly alter our ways of communicating to our loved ones sometimes in order for them to truly understand but trust me, as long as you really care, it can be felt.

“Yen was ambitious, smarter than she realized and a better lawyer than she gave herself credit for. She resented how I refused to engage in arguments with her, that I appeared nonchalant and oblivious to her tantrums, even that I seemed not to care. In fact, I just could not bear to raise my voice or temper at her.”

- Guys, I urge you to share your feelings with your girlfriends/wives. They want to know not just because they care but they truly want to understand and be of some help. If nothing at all, at least they can be a listening ear. Let her be there for you just as you have been there by her side, supporting her. She will feel appreciated and valued if you share your difficulties with her.

“ Yen always underestimated her capacity to love and how she could make a difference. Just as Yen was a pillar for her friends, she drew her strength from her loved ones. I am thankful for Michael, who always gave Yen the best. I am grateful for having been there when Yen needed me and knowing how wonderful it is that there is someone else who truly matters more than me. Unfortunately, I could not be there when it mattered the most.”

“…unbeknownst to us, our lives are like rocks hurtling through space on a collision course towards some mysterious centre of gravity, helpless in an overpowering field of force some call fate. Maybe Mrs Maple is right, that we are meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?”

“Don’t be embarrassed to tell someone ‘I love you’ everyday or whenever you want to because I really regret not saying it enough when I could.”